


just your heart, (in exchange for mine)

by perfectlystrange, Talli



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: (but we knew that anyway), CABB19, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The First Avenger, Developing Relationship, Hopeful Ending, Inspired by Stardust, Light Angst, M/M, Magic, Magical Realism, Major Character Injury, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Stardust AU, Steve is a star, World War II, no prior knowledge of stardust needed, the space stone
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2020-12-14 02:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21007847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perfectlystrange/pseuds/perfectlystrange, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talli/pseuds/Talli
Summary: HYDRA has started experimenting with the tesseract. By doing so, a of a wave of energy erupts, reaching the very stars in which it was created.The flare is seen on the other side of no man’s land—as is the explosion that follows..After getting drafted and shipped to the front lines, Bucky is used to the sound of explosions. They are the soundtrack of the war and he’s heard enough to start listening now. This one though is unlike any other he’s seen. The crater spans miles across and scorches the trees right down into their roots. More surprising is what it leaves behind—a man or, as Bucky soon finds out, a star.Or a Stardust AU that’s set in WWII featuring Bucky, a tired Sergeant, and Steve, a literal star pulled from the sky by a crazed scientist.





	just your heart, (in exchange for mine)

**Author's Note:**

> It's been amazing to be able to write this story (and to actually follow through with it). The idea spanned from an impromptu rewatching of the movie Stardust and just grew from there. The excitement built when it was claimed by the enormously talented  
[Talli](https://twitter.com/tallihoozoo) who created two brilliant pieces of art (you can see them embedded throughout the fic). I also want to thank my beta [sonorousandloud](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonorousandloud) for doing an amazing job, and as always, a fast one! 
> 
> Enjoy!

* * *

_Are we human because we gaze at the stars or do we gaze at the stars because we are human?_

* * *

Bucky flinches. His shoulders involuntarily hitch up to his ears as the sound sends a shockwave, easily reaching where they sit. Dust sweeps across the ground, almost putting out their fire. 

The world grows quiet. The change is abrupt as the chatter around several campfires hushes in a single breath. 

He feels the earth tremor through the base of his boots. 

When the dust settles, a great beam surges into the sky, the bright blue tearing away the cover of darkness. It’s far enough into enemy territory that Bucky can’t see where it’s coming from. The sound cuts through the new silence in the air. Its light spreads over the few stars that have broken through the veil of night. 

As it subsides, one last ripple of light is sent out into the sky. The blue distorts the stars when it passes over. Then the world is left in silence again. 

Bucky glances across his unit, noticing how they wore a newfound dread upon their faces. It’s an expression Bucky is sure he wears as well. It’s attached to the feeling of not truly knowing the extent of their enemy. 

The chatter doesn’t start up again. 

Bucky is about to turn away, to do his job as a sergeant and keep things in order, when another ray of light streams in from his periphery. This one is so blinding that he can only perceive it as negative space. It falls downward with a gentle curve, gaining speed as it moves closer to the camp. 

He stands up jerkily, vaguely noticing the colonel by the edge of a tent. Bucky fixes his eyes upward. He knows what comes next. His breath catches. The sure anticipation mixes with the knowledge that all he can do is watch. 

It’s not like any of them aren’t used to this. Bucky, for one, can’t find it in himself to be scared that one is coming for them now. There’s a strange sense of detachment as he watches the blaze shooting closer to the horizon, as if he was listening to events being reenacted on a radio. The physical effects are still there, ever present, forcing him to react even if his mind can’t. 

The explosive hurtles closer, a long stream of light trailing behind. 

“Move back!” The colonel’s voice echoes through the camp as he shouts the orders, when it’s clear the explosive is going to land dangerously close. 

Trance-like, Bucky moves backwards. His eyes still refuse to let the bomb out of his sight. 

When it makes impact, any stillness that remained is shattered. 

Bucky feels himself exhale.

The explosion takes everything in its vicinity and rips it all to shreds. The crater spreads out, the rubble building on top of each other. Even from the distance Bucky stands, it looks monstrous. The effect ripples down the corridor of trees that still stand and sweeps into the camp. By the time it reaches the camp, it’s reduced to a single rush of strong wind. The fabric of the tents rustle violently. 

Most are still frozen in place when Colonel Phillips moves from his spot. The lines on his face are more noticeable as he deepens what seems to be a permanent frown. 

“You’re all damn lucky that didn’t land any closer.”

The colonel glances through the faces around him, finally landing on Bucky’s.

“Sergeant.” He stands in front of Bucky. “Barnes, was it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I need you to investigate the aftermath of that blast.” His voice is level and unhindered by the abnormality of the situation.

“Is there something you’re expecting, sir?”

There’s something that doesn’t sit well with the tone Phillip uses. It’s too monotone. 

“I’ve learned to stop expecting anything,” he remarks. Bucky knows what he means. The colonel looks to the other men round the fire, scanning their upturned faces. “Take Rollins and Hatley as well.” 

Bucky nods, but the colonel is already turning away. He motions towards Rollins and Hatley although they were close enough to hear the orders that they’re already moving to stand. 

In the two years that Bucky has been deployed, he’s barely become acquainted with any of his men. At first it was because of his own belief that the army wasn’t his place. It wasn’t even the rowdiness that put him off or how the smiles slide off the faces of every guy he boarded the ship with. And it _ definitely _wasn’t how the waves across to the people on shore—to those who became dots on the skyline far too quickly—had died down before the ship even fully left the bay. It was because he felt he was walking into a reel of propaganda and Bucky blended in with every other eager-to-please soldier. 

Then he learned that by focusing on the next rank, the next title he could earn, it was easier to forget there was a war going on, if only slightly. The raw truth greeted him the moment he stopped climbing. 

He leaves the warm colours of the camp for the frigid shadows past the border. And though he tries to treat the crater like any other he passes, Bucky can’t help but remember the unsettling shiver it had sent up his neck. There’s clues all along the way to the crater of the destruction it lay in its wake. Charred branches stick haphazardly across the forest floor. They lay amongst giant holes that the larger rubble had left upon their first impact. If it were anywhere else, Bucky would have taken it as a warning to turn back.

He gets Rollins and Hatley to watch behind them. Both the beam and the impact had been seen by too many. Bucky doesn’t know too much about the men Colonel Phillips had sent him with, but he does know their eagerness is misplaced. Like too many, they found the war to be a spectacle. They saw it through a glass, rather than a mirror. Their actions were never reflected back. 

When they reach the crater, it’s as if he’s looking off the edge of a chasm. It’s only then that Bucky realizes the sheer magnitude of it. He’d been expecting something like it, but up close is a whole other level. Bucky motions for Rollins and Hatley to stop. 

He leans over and catches a glint near the centre. When he squints it’s gone, just as quickly as he’d seen it. It’s then that he notices a figure near where the glowing had come from. Bucky slides down the steep embankment, almost stumbling. 

The man doesn’t move. As he nears, Bucky realizes it’s because he’s unconscious. He’s curled on his side, one hand tucked into his stomach. He is a lot smaller than Bucky. His frame is tiny. It’s a surprise a man so small is on a battlefield at all. The man is also dressed in loose clothing. Both his shirt and pants are a deep blue silk-like fabric. There isn’t time to linger on the absurdity. Bucky sees that the glint from before hasn’t faded. The glow seems to be pouring from the man himself. His hair has a certain shimmer to it not even hidden in the darkness of night. Bucky is towering over him when the man finally stirs, as if his shadow woke him. 

The man blinks slowly, squinting at Bucky. He moves a hand over his eyes, seemingly unbothered by Bucky’s presence. The glow is almost completely gone now that the man is regaining awareness. 

Bucky takes a step back when he rolls to the side, starting to stand. It’s then that Bucky pulls the gun from his holster. He lets it hang to the side for now. 

The man stumbles to his feet, still ignoring Bucky. He hasn’t so much as glanced his direction. He turns away from Bucky, staring down at his palm. There’s something in his hand. Bucky squints and sees a shard of something. It’s narrow and made of glass. The blue tint catches his eye.

“Good, now that you’re on your feet,” Bucky says as he takes his gun and aims. He keeps his voice even, keeping the tremor in his throat at bay long enough to get the words out. “What side are you on?”

“Shouldn’t you have figured that out before I opened my eyes?” He replies distractedly. It’s several seconds before the man meets his gaze. 

“By what? Sensing your aura? You ain’t in uniform.” Bucky takes a breath, eyes flicking to the thing in his palm that neither of them are acknowledging. “What is that thing?”

Bucky still hasn’t taken a step back. He probably should, considering the aftermath they stand in. 

“I’m not on anyone’s side,” the man replies, unconcerned by how that sounds. He stares back down at what’s in his palm. “I need to get to the origin of that blast. Somebody is meddling with power they know nothing about.”

“Woah,” Bucky moves in front and puts a hand on the man’s chest. It’s a good time to notice the height difference. Bucky has almost a foot on the other man. “Buddy, that is hundreds of miles across enemy territory. What you gonna do, walk?” 

“If I have to.” He pushes past Bucky. 

Bucky follows. “No, no, no, if you do that, _ our _position will be compromised. Or has it escaped your notice that we’re in the middle of a war?” He almost bumps into the back of the man when he stops abruptly and turns.

“Then what would you have me do? Can _ you _ get me to where I need to go?”

Surprisingly, there’s no venom in his tone, but with the way he continues walking, the man obviously knows the answer. 

“You need to come back to our camp,” Bucky calls.

“I don’t _ need _to do anything you tell me.” The man turns to face Bucky again. “But I will, because I don’t want to endanger your men. Just don’t expect cooperation when it comes to answering all your questions.”

Bucky squints at him. “You’re gonna come willingly?”

“Is that so surprising?”

“Well, yeah. A minute ago you we’re talking about walking through a war zone, alone and unarmed.” 

He slips the shard in a pocket. “It won’t affect me the way you think.”

“Alright, pal.” Bucky gestures up the ridge he’d come down from, a smile taunting his lips. He isn’t sure if the man catches it. “After you.”

The man clambers up, pausing only when he reaches the top and notices Rollins and Hatley. Bucky moves past him to find them both watching expectantly. 

“Who’s the kid?” Rollins looks him up and down, his mouth slack with a silent laugh. “The rations sure have taken their toll.”

Hatley snorts and slaps Rollins on his arm with the back of his hand. The man tenses up and glares at both of them. Bucky shifts his weight, blocking the man from moving forward. He’s seen that look on other faces. 

“Does it look like I know the answer to that?” Bucky snaps.

“Damn, Sarge, lay off it,” Rollins mumbles. “It’s just a joke.”

“We shouldn’t hang around in open territory,” he replies instead. “Walk ahead and scout for anything.” 

Neither of them say anymore, taking long strides to move in front. Bucky lets the momentary stillness settle around them. All that interrupts is the rustling of clothes and the gentle crunch of rubble underneath their feet. Bucky faces forward stubbornly, keeping his eyes on the bleak horizon. 

“Am I gonna regret asking who you are?”

The man shrugs, noncommittally. “My name is Steve.”

“Just Steve? That’s all you’re giving me?”

“Just Steve,” he confirms. 

The shortness cuts at Bucky, but even as the feeling washes over him, his body reminds him of how he’s too tired for it to matter. In a few hours he’ll hand the responsibility over to Phillips and slip back into being the faceless soldier they want him to be. It’s how it’s supposed to go in this war. Bucky faces ahead again, ignoring how Steve doesn’t do the same, not instantly anyway. 

Steve spends most of the walk staring at the sky. His eyes fixate on the stars beyond the cloud layer. It seems to distract him into a driftless haze, something Bucky rarely sees in this particular situation. It isn’t the usual awe that people give to the sky. Nor is it the terror he’s witnessed following the often sudden realization of the inescapable infinity of everything past the borders of the Earth. 

“They’re pretty bright tonight, huh?” Bucky says after a while. 

“I think they’re trying to guide me.” Steve doesn’t break his gaze away. 

“Where to?”

“The way home.”

He gives an almost soundless laugh. “You think they could do the same for me?” 

“If you’re lucky,” Steve says with the shadow of a smile.

Bucky nods slowly although he doesn’t know what he means by that. They walk a moment in silence again as Steve moves his gaze lower so it’s in line with the horizon. 

“You know, I never caught your name.”

“Yeah, well, you didn’t seem too eager to make acquaintance.” 

“Doesn’t mean I can’t learn your name.”

“It’s Bucky,” he replies after a beat. “Satisfied?”

“Perfectly.”

The silence stretches between them the remainder of the journey. 

When they return, the common areas of the camp are empty. The soft glow from the tents and the soldiers assigned to night watch are all that shows they’re not completely alone. The guy on watch barely acknowledges them on the way in. 

Bucky waves the others away and neither object. He pulls Steve into his own tent when they’re out of sight. Steve just about stays on his feet. 

“Is there a problem?” Steve regains his composure and crosses his arms. 

Bucky wants to roll his eyes.

“You can’t just walk around wearing your silk pyjamas.”

“What’s it to you?” he shoots back. 

Bucky tries to keep his voice even, hushed. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know where you came from.” His voice turns rough, keeping it in the confines of the thin fabric of his tent. “We found you in the middle of a goddamn crater and you’re acting like it’s nothin’.”

Steve squares his shoulders and takes a step closer. “Yeah, and it’s going to stay that way, to you anyway. The sooner you people let me go, the sooner you can go back to playing soldiers.”

“You think we like this?”

“I think you live off this. I’ve watched you all, you can’t get enough of it.”

“Then you haven’t watched long enough.”

Steve laughs dryly. “You have no idea.”

They stand there as the silence ticks by and Bucky can tell that Steve’s surveying him just as much as he is. 

“I’ve watched for years as the conflict turned from talk to action. The world turn itself inside out, I still believe that it can change but I’m done watching how it pans out. In the past I would have seen this as an opportunity to be that change, but now,” Steve pauses, “now I just want to get home.” 

“I don’t understand half the things you say.” Bucky isn’t even really sure why he’s entertaining the conversation. “Where is home?” 

“You wouldn’t believe me.”

Bucky raises his eyebrows and looks away. He silently reaches for the small pile of clothes beside him and chucks them toward Steve. They hit in his chest and Steve manages to grab them before they drop to the floor. 

“Put them on.”

Steve heaves a long breath but moves to the back of the tent anyway. Bucky faces the opposite end, distractedly tapping his foot. 

“Am I presentable now?”

The clothes drown him. The sleeves drape way past his hands. He looks even younger. Bucky feels his lips tug, helplessly. “It’ll do,” Bucky confirms.

“Better not leave your colonel waiting.” Steve hides most of the disgust, though it’s clear to Bucky he wants to let some slip through. 

Bucky holds back the impending sigh and slips past Steve out to the base. The light from the main tent glows softly. There isn’t anywhere to knock so he opens the flap slowly. The noise catches the colonel’s attention, and he turns in his chair to face them. A woman stands with her back turned as she studies a map. 

“Sergeant Barnes.” His voice is gruff. “Back already?”

“Barnes,” Steve whispers under his breath. 

The colonel flicks his gaze to Steve momentarily but lands his eyes on Bucky. 

“Is he one of ours?”

“Don’t think so, sir.” Bucky leaves out that he’s fairly certain he saw the guy glowing. Being labelled as crazy is the last thing he needs.

“Then what the hell is he?” Colonel Phillips grumbles. “A spy?”

There’s no way in hell that Bucky’s about to let everything out. He isn’t even sure if what he saw was real. It must have been the light from the surrounding flames. Even as he thinks it, his brain denies the second possibility. It doesn’t exactly explain why a man would be lying in the middle of a fresh crater.

“Take him into holding.” Phillips gestures to a soldier nearby who moves into action before the colonel has finished. 

The soldier walks away silently, a thick arm around Steve’s. Steve barely glances back. 

The woman steps beside the colonel, and Bucky straightens up. Her lips are taut, but her expression shows no sign of being unkind. “You saw something.”

So she’s English. The words roll smoothly, confidently from her lips. 

Phillips leans in toward the woman. “Do you think this has something to do with Project Rebirth?”

“It hardly matters. The project failed,” she replies evenly. 

“They won’t know that.” The colonel faces Bucky again.

“Son, the only thing I’m concerned with is if he’s with us or against us. We don’t have the luxury of being concerned with how things look,” the colonel raises his eyebrows briefly as if he just realized it himself, “or sound.”

Bucky looks back and forth between Colonel Phillips and the woman, their gazes both expectant, an unspoken knowledge within their eyes. 

There’s a part of him that feels like he’s betraying Steve. It’s ridiculous, he knows. They don’t know each other and Bucky certainly doesn’t owe him anything. He wets his lips and tastes the faint dust on the surface. 

“When we arrived we weren’t even sure it was the crater. It was so deep it was like we could walk off the edge of the earth.” He pauses, letting the story catch up with him. “He was just laying there, said he needed to get to the blast.”

“He didn’t say who he was with?”

“No, he was mostly silent the whole way back.” Bucky frowns as he remembers something else. He can barely hold back now that he’s begun. “He said he wasn’t on any side.”

“Everyone’s on a side whether they admit it or not.” Philips replies, vehemence in his words. “I’ll get Carter to look into it. Thank you, sergeant.”

Bucky salutes. “Sir.” 

Outside, it’s drizzling. The raindrops are thin, Bucky barely feels them fall. He doesn’t linger. 

He wanders back to his tent, unable to give in to the detachment they had drilled into him all the way back in basic. He’d done exactly as he was meant to. It was out of his hands as it should be. Besides, he only had two days until he marched out again. 

**~**

The blue light haunts him in the battlefield. 

Bucky almost freezes up when he sees the blasts over the mound of dirt they have as cover. The mud has crept into every crevice of his gear and he can feel it drying on his face. He peers cautiously over the edge just in time to watch two guys turn to ash. The blue gets nearer. The light reaches where they sit, illuminating the entire hole and Bucky wants it to swallow him. 

He doesn’t turn to ash. Instead, the firing ceases and a momentary hush surges across entire field. He finds no relief in the pause. 

They take the whole unit with staggering ease. A few try to escape. Their bodies never hit the ground. 

Bucky stops the small sound before it can escape out from his mouth. 

The next thing he sees is the inside of a cell. There are rows upon rows of them. They start out crowded, barely enough space to stand without bumping shoulders. It doesn’t stay like that for long.

The cells are cold. Bucky spends his days shivering, more than he ever did in the trenches. Even as he’s forced to be on his feet and sweat gathers on his forehead, the shivering doesn’t lessen.

They take a guy every so often. 

Bucky’s breaths come out as wheezes. It’s faint at first and he only notices it when he tries to sleep, when everything is still enough for the rattle to seem louder. 

When he drops the supplies he’s carrying right in front of a guard, Bucky truly believes he could close his eyes right there and never open them again. 

He gets put back in the cell early and spends the evening coughing up blood. The metallic tang fills his mouth and it turns foul on his tongue. Bucky curls himself into the corner of the cell, feeling the metal bars poke into his back.

The others return earlier than usual and no one says anything until the door is locked again. 

“You won’t make it much longer if you go out there tomorrow.” Dum Dum doesn’t insult him by crouching to his level.

“I don’t much have a say now, do I?” 

“Lahmer’s dead. Crushed under a load of machinery. Hopefully—“

They’re interrupted when another guy several cells down gets taken. He’s the fifth in two weeks. 

“Leave off it, Dum Dum.”

Shadner shakes his head slowly as he paces around the small space. 

“Something wrong, lad?” Jones asks. 

There’s a pause and Shadner stops in his tracks. 

“It should be you.” The other man’s face is now inches away from Bucky’s. It’s easy for Bucky to not react. “You’re not here to serve your country, you’re just here cause you got no choice.” 

“What? You chose to be in this dingy cell?”

“I chose to _ serve.” _

Jones moves to interject but Bucky waves him off. 

“It don’t matter what your number says,” Bucky replies evenly. He shifts uncomfortably into a more dignified position. “We’re all gonna die the same way.”

The soldier motions to the sky. “It’s gonna matter up there.” 

Bucky doesn’t reply to that, though the spot of blood he spits on the floor is a reply in itself. 

The man gets taken four days later. Just like the others, it’s the last time he’s seen. Bucky finds it hard to feel for him. 

Out of the hundreds of men in the cages, Bucky is somehow not surprised when he’s taken as well. By then, he doesn’t have the energy to fight back, and really, there isn’t any use. That’s okay, he thinks, he never believed he’d make it out anyway. 

  
  


**~**

32557038\. 32557038. 32557038. Bucky whispers the number into the dead of night. He no longer cares that it's out in the open for all to hear. It really won't matter how people decide to judge him. He can only cling to piece of himself, however small.

No matter how long he lies on the table, the warmth never greets him, not once. 

The hunger that he had managed to numb claws its way back into his stomach and he thinks it’s the most he’s felt in days. He’s been caught in a space between complete numbness and feeling every pinprick since they got him on the table. 

The blue that had come from the beam seeps into what little dreams he has. It coaxes him into a false security, locking its hold once it has him. Bucky doesn’t have the capacity to panic though he knows distantly he should. The screams that do reach him are muffled. 

He isn’t sure if he’d rather be awake. When he is, the face of a small man fills his vision. The man wears a poky smile and his eyes glisten from the dim light from the hallway. He chunters to himself a lot and Bucky leaves him to it. After all, he has his own murmurs to tend to. 

_ Sergeant Barnes. _

The words are said in a whisper. It isn’t a voice he’s heard before. There’s an ethereal touch to the way it streams into his hearing, but an urgency too. It slips out of his reach like a dream.

_ Bucky. Steve is in danger. You can’t tell anyone what you’ve seen. There are myths that have guided this world and shaped the minds of men. In such a time of turmoil there are those who will stop at nothing to claim victory. If they find out the truth, it’s only a matter of time before they get their hands on Steve. There is an ancient power in the hands of an unjust man. You have already seen what that power can do. _

_ Your heart is true and you have saved our brother once before. Please... keep him from harm. _

In his next breath, Bucky jerks awake. The silence leaves him with a ringing in his ears and he is greeted with the emptiness of the room once again. 

The next face he sees startles him out of the glazed-eye trance enough to speak. Steve is _right there, _and he fills up all of Bucky’s vision. He’s still in the clothes Bucky loaned him; they’re still just as baggy on him. The sleeves fall well below his hands. There’s a soft glow that frames Steve’s head with the green light Bucky had previously only seen as menacing. It’s framed with a slight golden undertone. 

“What are you doing here?” Bucky asks. It comes out weakly so it doesn’t have the effect he was hoping for.

“I heard about a technology that could disintegrate people on the spot and shone blue. It got me here.” Steve begins untying the restraints. “Word is the object is somewhere in this base.”

“You just happened upon this room?”

Bucky focuses on a corner in front of him as he sits up. He slowly brings his legs over the edge of the table, letting his brain catch up from the movement. It’s already sending his eyes reeling. A sharp pain shoots up his legs as his feet make contact with the ground and it almost makes his knees buckle. 

“In a sense,” Steve replies.

“You aren’t giving me much to work with.”

Steve turns and the softness Bucky had glimpsed in his features has turned into something else. 

“My _ only _ focus is getting home and doing so quickly enough that nothing is affected.”

“I have no idea what that means.” Bucky keeps his voice even. It’s a talent he’s mastered, but not entirely grateful for. “But I have thought of home every damn day I’ve been out here. Everyone has the hope they’ll get back, but the truth is not everyone does. Some of us have seen it for our last time.” 

He flicks his eyes over to Steve. “Why the hell do you get the priority?” 

“It isn’t like that,” he replies quietly. 

“No? Then enlighten me.”

“You need to go.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, “I think I should.”

Bucky brushes past Steve lightly which gets him to trail behind. They get out in the hallway when Bucky pauses. 

“I wasn’t shown the way out. Perhaps you could do the honors?”

Steve raises an eyebrow at the tone, but he takes the lead anyway. Bucky lets his shoulders slump now that he’s behind. The ache isn’t in one spot anymore. With every slight movement he feels another jab or another sting. His head feels stiff with a vague sense of a machine drilling into his cheekbones. His feet catch on the floor and the shuffling seems to echo down the hallway. The sound splits through his brain like a sharp needle. He follows Steve’s footsteps. 

The noise from pacing guards is the only thing that fills his ears as they tread lightly through the maze of corridors. He doesn’t trust them all that much anymore. The sounds that have greeted him haven’t always been genuine. An aftereffect of his stay with HYDRA, he assumes. 

An alarm sounds overhead.

Eventually, they come to a part of the base Bucky recognizes. It’s the main floor where most of the labour is conducted. It’s empty now, and the tables of equipment lay scattered, forgotten. He realizes a second later what it means to see it now. 

“You’re taking us further into the base.”

“Well, the front’s been overrun by soldiers, but by all means have a go,” Steve shoots back. 

“And you know another exit?”

“I have a vague sense of its location.” He gestures ahead unspecifically. 

“Oh, well, in that case,” Bucky lets the words drawl, “forgive me for worrying. I see now there’s absolutely no issue with the fact we’re in an enemy base with no way to defend ourselves and no viable exit.”

Steve frowns, exasperation clear as day. “You worry too much.” 

Steve continues without any visible concern. Bucky hears running in the distance. The steps get louder and a moment later an explosion sounds. The walls quake. Steve turns down a corridor that prisoners had been kept away from. It’s not as well illuminated as the other parts of the base. The ceiling curves with a set of muddied lights on either side. They shine a green that infects his skin. 

Bucky finds himself stumbling into the wall as pain splits through his head and an image demands to be seen. Distantly he hears another blast, this time closer. The lights above that had previously seemed dim, but they now bear into his eyes, sending his vision spinning. 

“Bucky?” It’s Steve. He sounds so far away. “We can’t stop here, you gotta keep going.”

Bucky nods, using the wall to drag himself along. He stares at the ground, watching the back of Steve’s legs for direction. 

They arrive at a bridge where flames lick underneath. He grabs the barriers with both hands only now, looking away from the ground. The heat easily tears at his clothes. 

The doors on the other side slide open before they can reach it and two men step out. One is tall and lean. He has an odd face even without considering his expression. It’s long and taut. His skin stretches awkwardly over his features. The other... Well, the other, Bucky has seen one too many times. They both freeze when they see they aren’t alone. 

It’s the tall one who speaks first. 

“So you’re the one who has forced me to set this base alight.” His voice shows no sign of remorse. “The Americans have said that you are the product of a serum. That you were created as an experiment, but you and I both know the truth. You’re a message from the gods, a gift for my ambition.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t look away either. 

“Steve, we should go.” Bucky looks around, his eyes catch on the splintered ceiling. “This place is gonna blow.”

“Does he know?” The man across from them says. “Does anyone?”

“Where is it?” Steve’s tone changes to something sharp.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

“The thing that _ you _fired into the sky, the thing that had me plummeting to the ground.” 

The man considers this with a slight tilt of the head. “Of all the years you were up there, surely you would have heard of the tesseract, no?”

“An infinity stone.” Steve shakes his head. “You have no idea the power you are trying to contain.”

“On the contrary, I now know exactly the power I need to wield it. Erskine could not grant it to me, but perhaps another source will grant me that privilege.”

“Don’t hold your breath.”

The man signals to the doctor and the bridge begins to pull away from itself, creating two sides.

“No matter, the tesseract is damaged.” The man sneers and lets his voice ring out across the curling flames. “A side effect of breaking the barrier to the stars, I expect.”

“Yes.” Steve gives an over-the-top frown. Bucky would go as far as to say puzzled. “If only someone could find the missing shard and repair it.”

Steve slowly pulls out the shard from the crater and dangles it from his fingers. “Or rather, it’s a shame someone already has.”

Surprisingly, the man doesn’t appear fazed. He backs up towards the door they came from, still facing Steve. “When the time comes, we’ll have what we need. You’ll see.”

Like a well-timed signal, the fire below swells up higher, now reaching the barricades. Bucky moves back in the direction they’d came and Steve follows while pocketing the shard again.

Bucky’s running now, or to the extent he can. The faster impact reverberates up both his legs into a piercing ache. 

“That was stupid a hundred times over,” Bucky says once Steve is beside him.

“What do you mean?”

“Showing them that you have that, that shard, whatever it is. It’s what they need and now they know they don’t have to go looking for it.”

“He also knows he can’t get his hands on it.”

“Yeah, for now.”

Steve pauses and grabs Bucky’s side. “You don’t get to manage what I say or what I do, so quit trying to.”

Bucky pulls his arm out of Steve’s grasp and shakes it purposefully. “How do we get the hell out of here?”

“The front door, I guess.”

“You gotta be shitting me.”

“Come on,” he ignores Bucky’s protests. “It’s this way.”

As the main floor comes into view again, Bucky heads to one of the tables and scans the items. He grabs two blaster guns and takes the screwdriver next to it. It’s the closest thing to a knife he’ll have for a while, he suspects. He hands over the second gun to Steve who eyes it carefully before taking it with both hands. 

“You know how to use one?” Bucky asks.

“I’m not sure I want to.”

“You might not be given a choice.”

Steve gives a long exhale and continues toward the new exit. They don’t meet another soul until they’re right on top of the door. It’s wide open and unattended. There are shouts from outside that trail inside. Now they’re close to the conflict, Bucky naturally takes the lead, gun high. He fires it immediately toward the two soldiers nearest to the building. Their bodies explode with a great flash of light. It catches the attention of more soldiers and they rush him. They get too close for Bucky to fire. He lunges at the nearest with the screwdriver. Blood spurts out his neck as he falls with heavy limbs. He knocks the other two out with the butt of the gun. Bucky spins and a split second glance tells him Steve hasn’t moved from the doorway. The other soldiers are preoccupied with the other prisoners so he bends down to unhook the gun at his feet. 

It isn’t long before he has to use it. It’s messy. 

“You’re no safer in there than out here.” He turns, now the shooting has stopped, toward Steve. 

“I beg to differ.” 

“They won’t risk keeping this place standing. They’ll blow it completely once they get out.” 

That gets Steve to move. “Then what are we waiting for?” He passes Bucky with a teasing side-eye glance. 

Still, he stays close to Bucky. His gaze goes wild as he turns away, thinking Bucky couldn’t see. Bucky turns his focus to the last of the soldiers. Already it’s a small number, and the tanks and many of the new age weapons are under his unit’s control. He aims just in time to take down a soldier entering the treeline. A runner. 

By now, all that remains are the surviving prisoners, breathless, waiting. The majority of what was left of his unit survived the latest fight. Bucky scans the faces, their sunken eyes staring back. There’s relief too, he sees it in the way their arms hang limply at their sides. The guns almost slip out of their hands. 

A terrible and gnarled truth hits him in one single wave. It tips him off balance, like the rough waters his unit crossed years ago. The ocean had been calm for days, favourable, some would say perfect. The storm hit them without warning and turned the ship into a deathtrap. 

The calm now distracts him from the inevitable blast that will soon follow. 

“Everyone get away from the building!” 

Even as he says it, there’s an inkling in the back of his mind that he’s taking too long. He pulls Steve along, almost knocking him over. His urgency is not completely unwarranted. The building goes up just as they come in line with the nearest tank. 

Just as quickly as the silence had spread across the ruins, the noise rushes back with full strength a moment later. 

“You’re the guy that broke us out.” Morita jumps down from the tank and turns to Steve. “How the hell did you do it alone? No offence.”

“It had to be done.” It’s said so simply. Bucky finds his own gaze lingering. 

Morita draws him out of the haze when he claps a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “It’s good to see you got out.”

“Yeah,” he replies distractedly, “you too.”

Morita tugs him so they’re actually facing each other. “You sure you’re okay, though? You kinda seem like you’re somewhere else.”

Bucky scoffs a laugh. “Jeez, you’re as bad as my ma. I’m just peachy.”

He lets the conversation drop, though he doesn’t seem thoroughly convinced. Morita is facing something else now and Bucky follows his gaze. Steve is surrounded. The survivors circle him with a collective awe. 

“Alright, quit circling him like a set of vultures. Don’tcha think we should be getting going?”

A decision is made to head back to his unit’s camp. Truth is, Steve could have said anything and every one of them would have followed him. Bucky’s damn sure of that.

**~**

“What’s this about a serum?”

Steve asks the second they are behind closed doors. They’re both tired. Bucky, for one, can feel the dirt caked on his skin and the persistent ache that has settled in his soles. It was something that he could ignore while marching. Steve’s exhaustion sits mostly in his posture, his shoulders tense as he stares Phillips down. It’s clear with the sharpness of his tone that it isn’t all physical.

The colonel doesn’t give much away, but his face twists ever so slightly, the tension gathering at his brow. 

“What else was I supposed to say? I have soldiers reporting they saw something they can’t explain. That a man rescued them without so much as a weapon, but more than that, he glows.”

“It isn’t something I can control. I wouldn’t be of any use to you.”

“We need a symbol and the one we tried to create ultimately failed. But bullets don’t seem to harm you regardless of whatever else you got, and that could come in handy right about now.”

“You want me to pretend I was that symbol?”

“Morale is low. HYDRA is coming at us from all angles. I don’t very much believe in miracles anymore, but by god’s graces, you were brought to us. You just might be the push we need for that victory.

“How exactly are you gonna play off the part where he’s bulletproof?” Bucky asks, a tone he doesn’t usually use with a superior slipping through the cracks.

“Make it a side effect of the serum. People won’t know the difference, the project was secretive enough that they didn’t even know it was happening.”

“This is risky,” Agent Carter interjects, “if word gets out—"

“As long as he’s on _ our _side, you really think they’ll care where he came from?” Phillips turns to her. “They were more than willing to allow Erskine to help us.”

“Not everyone in that room was with us, Colonel.” Carter stands a little taller. “It got Erskine killed.”

“If something happens, I’ll handle it.”

“You’re both acting as if I’ve agreed to it,” Steve interrupts. “Or does my say in the matter mean little to you?”

“What you do is not up to us, but if you want to continue to wade into war, you’re gonna have to come up with a cover story. We don’t need you to win.”

“Really? Because a minute ago you were practically begging me to help. I think,” he pauses, “you’re scared you’ll lose without the project, you just don’t want to admit it. I think you’re lucky I landed in your territory and you should be sure to remember it. What ever would you do without your self-made miracle to keep morale up?”

The words cut the air easily, turning the tension into momentary silence. 

“I don’t think I should be here,” Bucky says eventually. He makes it to the doors before the colonel says anymore.

“Barnes, you’re staying right where you are.” It’s more of a growl. “We’re not finished with you yet.”

And there it is. He’ll never be done with any of them. Not until they’re all in body bags or waving a victory flag. He’ll use each breath, every inhale in this fight and Bucky is no exception. He takes a slow breath now, still pausing by the exit. After a beat, he sits back down just as the colonel turns back to Steve. 

“I’m not a game piece to be moved as you please. It’s a mistake I’m here at all—”

“You saved four hundred people in that base. That was no mistake.”

Steve looks away at that. Bucky sees his shoulders drop gently, slowly. “You don’t just want me as a symbol, do you?” He moves his gaze up to face the colonel again.

“We can’t risk the other side getting ahold of you.”

_ There are those who stop at nothing to claim victory. _

The words jolt as a sudden reminder.

“So whether I agree to help you or not, I’m stuck here.” 

“For now, that’s how I ensure my men’s safety.” He clasps his hands together, resting on the table. “I’ll have one of them show you to a bunk.”

“You aren’t fooling anyone with that facade of yours.”

Steve stands before the soldier stands beside him and walks out, letting his new guard catch up. 

The colonel watches him leave, his eyes trained on Steve’s back. 

“You wanted to speak with me, sir?”

It draws his attention back to Bucky and the Colonel takes his seat. His expression turns severe, his brows knit together. “I heard what they did to you in Austria.” Bucky’s stomach sinks. Phillips continues. “Well, what I could piece together from the other men.

“It sounds rough, Barnes. I want you to know you’re not obliged to continue. If you leave, it will be honourable, and no one will think otherwise either. You give the word and I’ll get on the paperwork, may take a few days, but you’ll be on your way home.”

Home. For the first time in two years it’s a tangible destination and for whatever reason, it sits hollow in his chest. When he’s spent all this time over here, cultivating the acceptance he may never make it back, hearing it’s truly possible is somehow harder to believe. 

“Take some time to think it over. You know where to find me when you make your decision.” He starts to stand.

“I already have it,” he replies quickly. “Take me home.” 

The colonel leans back in the chair, giving a slow nod. “Pack your things. You leave in two days.”

Bucky can’t bring himself to reply. He’s up and out before his mind can begin to shift. He collapses into his bunk, but sleep never comes. It twists his thoughts into a headache that keeps him wide awake. The decision isn’t the only thing that causes it. Then again, it’s all linked. He was willing to cast aside the time he spent strapped to the table, take it for what it is, just another memory he’ll have from the war. 

His cheeks are wet before he feels the tears. He’s silently grateful to be alone. 

They aren’t for what HYDRA did to him. He realizes, it’s from the conflict in his brain of what his decision would mean. It’s with a more horrifying realization that he wants to stay for Steve. The message he heard replays on a loop, though even then it’s more jumbled than he remembers._ Steve is in danger. _It’s the clearest part of it all. It’s ridiculous, he knows that it’s holding him back. Everyone is in danger, but still, he can’t shake it. Even more, he doesn’t want to. 

**~**

“I heard you were being discharged.” Steve stands in the entrance of the tent, watching Bucky pack. There really isn’t anything to it, barely anything that they were allowed to bring. 

“That’s right.”

“I’m happy for you. I hope you find the peace you’re looking for.”

Bucky frowns. “I’ve never said anything about that before.”

“You didn’t need to.”

There it is again, the simple phrases which Steve utters with such ease that somehow manage to completely derail Bucky all the same. 

He leaves before Bucky can reply. Not that he would know what to say. He just watches. It’s how he notices the two men trailing him, guards. He recognizes it in the way their eyes are trained on Steve like a hawk. In the way they walk in unison several steps behind. They have him prisoner here, as much as they treat it otherwise, Steve can’t leave. Not until Colonel Phillips decides whether to use Steve as an asset or keep him away from the other side. 

The voice that came to him on the table really chose the wrong person to tell. 

Bucky sits back on his cot and lets his bag fall to the floor. He lets out a long and shaky exhale. He closes his eyes and as if waiting, the image of Rebecca comes into view. His mother is standing behind her, both beaming at him. Their faces shine in the afternoon sun that trails through their living room window. It looks the same as when he left. How could it look any different? His memory supplies him with only what he has seen before. 

“Forgive me,” he whispers into the emptiness. “You’ll have to wait a little longer.” 

Still, it isn’t until the next morning that he approaches Colonel Phillips.

“I’m staying,” he says before the colonel can speak.

There’s a pause as he considers this. “Well, that’s a bit of wasted paperwork, but it sure is good to have you with us, sergeant.”

He studies Bucky plainly. “What made you change your mind?”

Bucky shrugs, but the sentiment is there. “Unfinished business.”

“I can understand that.” He glances to the side briefly. “I’m putting together a team to go up against HYDRA, I _ was _ hoping you would be part of it.”

“With all due respect, sir, if you’re going up against them, Steve should be on that team. I’ve seen what he can do.”

“He’s a bit of a sweet-talker, that one, but I can’t allow it .”

“You think he’s going to be a problem.” 

“More so than a help? Yes.” 

“Are you sure it’s your place to decide?”

“Watch yourself, sergeant.” His gaze drills deeply into Bucky. “Of course it’s my damn place. If HYDRA has the ability to make weapons like that, nothing else is going to matter.”

“Steve, he’s something else, he’s—”

“His talents can be used elsewhere. He’ll be the symbol that pulls the nation together.” He pauses. “If we had an army of ‘em maybe I’d be thinking differently.”

“I don’t think the world would appreciate anymore of those craters.”

The colonel laughs. “No, I don’t think it would.”

“Sir.” Bucky nods, slowly taking his leave.

Bucky picks up his already packed bag from his tent and before he can talk himself out of it, saunters up to where Steve is held, looking as casual as he can. He’s stopped by the two men who have been acting as guards. 

“You can’t come any closer.” 

“You know why?”

“Some kind of prisoner or somethin’. We weren’t told.”

“Yeah? Well, how come he can walk around camp?” They both remain silent. “Look, he’s part of a secret assignment. I was told by Colonel Phillips to brief him.”

“That don’t line up, we just saw him,” the closer of the two says. 

Bucky gives a long slow exhale and shifts his weight. “Tell me, do you know your rank?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And you know mine, so you wanna try that again?”

“I’m gonna see the colonel. We have our orders so I’m sure you won’t mind if we check with him.”

“You do that.” 

The soldiers look unsure but walk from their post anyway. 

“Shouldn’t you be on your way home?” Steve’s voice is smooth, his tone like a melody on the evening radio. 

Bucky shrugs noncommittally. “You ain’t getting rid of me that fast.”

Steve raises his eyebrows, his lips tug to the side slightly. It turns into a small frown just as quickly, but there’s no bitterness in it. 

“We gotta go,” Bucky continues. “I didn’t get the authority from the Colonel.”

“Ah, so he can bluff.”

“Shut your trap and get shifting, we don’t have all day, twinkletoes.” Any harshness he would usually use slips away easily.

“Alright, alright,” Steve stands and passes him, “I mean I would say it’s more of a glow than a twi—”

“Go to the left.” He shoves him playfully. 

“Yes, sir.” A grin takes up half of Steve’s face. Bucky can’t help but return one. He huffs a silent laugh. 

Bucky takes his cap and smooths his hair down. He places it on Steve’s head where it sinks over his eyes.

Steve glares at him from underneath it as he pushes it higher.

“What? You weren’t exactly inconspicuous.”

“I’m not meant to be.” He gives Bucky a smile, in a way that says he’s missing the point.

“Get behind me and try not to attract attention,” Bucky shoots back. 

Much to Bucky’s surprise, they manage to get out of the camp without getting caught. He lets out a breath he’d been holding since meeting with the colonel. 

Bucky chooses a place for them to settle for the night. It’s one they’re likely not to be spotted, with the trees giving them marginal cover. It still isn’t safe to start a fire so Bucky lies back on the flattest part of rock he can find. 

“Look, I guess I should tell you, since you still insist on following me. God, you’re a pain in the ass.” Steve goes quiet, looking to the ground for a moment. “I’m not human.”

“I know,” Bucky replies, simply. It gets Steve to look up again.

Steve huffs a laugh, not quite believing the response. “What gave it away?”

“Almost everything you’ve done since I met you.” Bucky lets the edge of his mouth curl. “I mean you were honest to god glowing when we met.”

He searches Bucky’s eyes. “That’s what stars do best.”

Bucky recovers quickly, for all his faults. A shadow of a smile crosses his face. “Which one are you?”

Steve takes his shoulders and points Bucky in the direction. “You seem to know the sky fairly well, which do you think?”

Bucky searches the sky letting the stars guide him towards the empty spaces. 

“The North.” It isn’t a question. There’s no doubt about it. It’s missing. 

Steve nods faintly, still staring upwards.

“I’ll take watch,” he says eventually now glancing sideways. “ It may come as a surprise, but I don’t sleep well at night.”

Bucky tilts his head with the slight raise of his brows. “ Well, I seem to have lost the knack recently.”

He closes his eyes anyway a strange warmth spreading in his chest. The sounds around, coax him into a halfway sleep state. His hand never leaves his holster. 

**~**

  
  
  


“What are you going to do?”

“Truthfully, I don’t know. I heard of another star that fell—years and years ago—must have been the one that started the myths. It didn’t end well. I just know the best shot is getting ahold of the tesseract.”

“Seems like it’s a bad idea to get anywhere near Schmidt again.”

Steve shrugs. “Better a bad idea than no idea.”

“I’m not sure I agree with that.”

“I didn’t think you would.” He agrees. “Although, there is someone who might be able to help with a better plan.”

“Steve,” he warns. “That isn’t the face of someone confident they know what they’re doing.”

“I said _ might.” _

“We’re sitting in a place where one wrong move gives away our location to the enemy. Might isn’t good enough.”

“I know the risks, I don’t need someone pointing them out at every opportunity.”

“Really? You seem to be ignoring them pretty easily.”

“You had your way out,” His voice raises dangerously. “You broke me out, you _ chose _to give away your ticket away from all this, don’t forget that.”

“Keep your voice down,” Bucky hisses. 

“Don’t deflect.” He says it quieter. 

Bucky stays still. There’s a fog that has hold of his brain, taking his thoughts hostage.

“I’m returning a debt, that’s all.”

It’s just about the clearest thing in his head right about now. He searches Steve’s face and already knows that he can see right through Bucky.

“No, it’s more than that.” Steve takes a step closer, his face scrunches delicately. “You hide it well, I’ll give you that, but it’s almost in plain sight.”

He tilts his chin up, his expression commanding. “You can keep your reasons to yourself, just as long as they don’t interfere with my journey.”

He knows Steve is trying to end the conversation. For a while they don’t speak. The faint snap of branches underfoot is all that comes between them. Bucky is used to keeping everything to himself. It’s what he grew up with. 

It washes over Bucky with an uncontrollable force, and the words are out before he can stop them. “Are you going to consider the rest of the people in this war? The ones who know nothing of you, whose only hope is that the next bullet won’t land in them?”

“What about them?"

“You can’t compromise that hope.” Already, he feels calmer. The release rushes through him. “In _ any _ way.” 

Steve’s face moves into a complicated expression. His lips tight. Eyes bright like always. 

“How would I—,” he falters. 

Bucky watches as a strange sort of grief rolls across Steve’s face. “You could blaze through this territory with no consideration for what that does. Without knowin’ you could tear everything down for us.”

Steve falls silent. 

“There’s a soothsayer…” Steve trails off, “who lives in the mountains, there’s whispers that they have been able to see fragments that have come true.” 

“You’re saying they see into the future.”

“Something like that.”

“Betting everything on a prophecy.” He nods to himself. “Seems fitting.”

“We’ll have to travel by night. I only have a vague sense of where to go so we’re okay for today but after, I’m going to need more guidance.” He looks across at Bucky. “You’ll have to have some faith in me, at least.” 

“Faith,” Bucky somewhat whispers. It’s to himself more than Steve, “If anyone was going to restore that, it’d have to be a star, wouldn’t it?”

As easy as he says it, he can feel his whole body reject any notion of trusting another soul. His insides restrict like a snake, paralyzing the feeling from burrowing any deeper. He wants it to stay, needs it to.

They travel all through the day and the next night. Steve is slower in the day so Bucky takes up the lead. It switches as the darkness spreads into the sky when Bucky feels a slow tiredness in the corners of his eyes. Even then, it’s delayed and not as overwhelming it would usually be. 

The familiar ache of walking takes hold far too quickly. His toes wet as he reopens another wound on his sole, but even that sensation fades into the rest. 

Eventually they come to a clearing. It feels fresh to breath in a space that is so open. In the far distance a lone building can be distinguished. It stands apart from the snow surrounding them. A darker presence in an otherwise stark scene. 

“I guess that would be it, huh?”

“That’s the one,” Steve confirms needlessly. 

“Looks lovely.”

Steve slaps his arm with the back of his hand. 

The house is so large, it’s a wonder that it hasn’t been noticed, or destroyed. It sits on the side of a cliff, winter’s icy lips pressed on the exterior and dripping from the roof. It acts as a barrier from the outside world. The structure of the building is castle-like, a fortress sitting deep into the rocky face. A window towers above. It’s circular with beams cutting through the centre in a strange pattern. It isn’t a symbol Bucky recognizes. 

As they approach, it’s neither ominous nor is it inviting. He feels as if he is walking in on an empty space and not into someone’s home. 

Steve slows his pace almost coming to a complete stop. Still, he walks through the arched gates. As Bucky follows, the view ahead splinters. Where his vision was clear, it’s now as if he’s looking through hundreds of shards of glass. It surrounds them from all sides, creating a dome. Steve takes a half step in front of Bucky. He isn’t even sure Steve knows he’s doing it. He feels the soft wall of heat between them from the close proximity. 

A figure walks out of the building, but like the rest of what is around, they’re distorted through the glass. Their robes billow in the faint wind, a wind that no longer nips at his face. In fact, he doesn’t feel it at all, he realizes. The crunching of snow as the figure gets closer isn’t perceivable either. Slowly the figure, head bowed, raises a hand and a part of the barrier cracks with a distinct sound. 

“What is your business here?” A woman’s voice comes from under the robes. 

“We have good word that you can guide us to our destination,” Steve replies.

“I can provide many types of guidance. Which are you seeking?”

“The one that has us walking in the right direction,” Bucky interjects. He notices a long chain hanging around her neck, a large ornament at the end. A green light pools out of it.

She considers this carefully, looking between them. “How did you find this place? It has a shield surrounding the whole perimeter.”

“You helped a sister of mine about three hundred years ago. Or so I was led to believe.”

“It didn’t turn out well for her, and yet, you still come to me.” She pauses. “You’d better get out of the open.”

In a flash the glass-like feature disappears with the same sound as before. The woman doesn’t wait to see if they follow, just treks back, matching her footsteps with the ones she left leading the other way. 

Steve doesn’t seem to be fazed. Bucky follows cautiously, checking the high corners of the ridge above. He sweeps the roof, too. It’s a sniper’s habit. 

Inside looks nothing like what the exterior promised. A great staircase greets them through the tall double doors.

“I can see you’re in search for the tesseract, but it’s unclear what you need it for,” the woman says as she leads them into one of the many rooms. “Though I assume it’s to return you to the sky.”

“It shattered when it was activated.” Steve fiddles absentmindedly with his outside pocket. 

“It’s no issue for you to wield the stone without the tesseract. The difficult part will be getting to it safely. There are many who would kill for the power within your heart.” 

She continues after the blank looks she receives. She waves an arm and an image conjures in the air. It’s of a crater, almost identical to the one Bucky found Steve in. In the centre lies a woman in similar silk clothes. 

“When the first star fell, it was a far less turbulent time and it caught the attention of sorcerers who wished to use the power to become Sorcerer Supreme. They led her to me, saying I could help. All the while gaining her trust, getting her heart to shine, and when they deemed it right, they cut it out.”

“And you don’t wish this power yourself?” Bucky challenges. Steve gives him a look.

“I have no need for it. I’m known in our order as the Ancient One and they were trying to overthrow me to gain the title. And you,” she turns to Bucky fully, “what do you get in all this?”

“Ah, I’m just tagging along for the ride.” He breaks the brief eye contact. 

She shakes her head gently and it brings his attention back. “There’s something that runs inside of you that sits apart from everyone else. An ice that has already grown around your heart. It won’t take much to fall.”

“I don’t think that’s just reserved for me, there’s plenty of men out here that have lost their humanity.” It cuts strangely nonetheless. 

“True.” She agrees. Her face remains placid. “But that isn’t what I meant.”

She makes the image that floats in front, disappear. Her tone never changes. “You’ll have to be careful to stop it from spreading and, in the wrong hands, it will. You’re not just a soldier in the trenches, anymore. ” 

“He never was,” Steve says a little too harshly. Bucky’s breath catches. 

The woman raises her eyebrows, straightening her back. 

“To find the stone you’ll have to get to the HYDRA base caved deep into the Alps. This is meant to be their most fortified base and the most difficult to get into. Even more difficult to get out of.” She’s walking towards one of the tall cabinets pressed against the far wall. Bucky feels the pull to move in closer. “I can give you something that will help with a quick getaway.”

In her hands is a thin box. The engravings are unrecognizable, deeply set into the wood. 

“I have also included a map, it’ll show you the most favourable route, landmarks to seek and those to avoid.” 

She opens the box to reveal a single black candle. 

“A babylon candle,” Steve whispers in awe. “I didn’t know there were any left.”

“There won’t be after this.”

Bucky frowns, “A bubbling candle?” 

“A babylon candle,” Steve corrects.

“That’s what I said.” 

“You said bubbling.” The exasperation from Steve is clear. His eyebrows raise as he stares at Bucky. He gives it a second before turning back. 

“I trust from your reaction, you know how it works,” the woman interjects. 

“Light the candle, think of where you want to go, and only there.”

She snaps the box closed and holds a hand on top. The other hand rests on the base. “Use it carefully.”

Steve takes it silently, a careful touch in his fingers. He doesn’t look away as he passes it to Bucky. His fingers brush against Bucky’s as he does, a detail he’s sure Steve hasn’t noticed.

“If he has the stone, why will we need the candle?” Bucky asks, the tingle in his fingers lessening.

“It’s a precaution, should you not reach the stone, but also,” her eyes soften, “if you do succeed, it would be unwise for a star to linger on Earth, so as Steve uses the stone for the sky, you’ll use the candle to reach your camp again.” 

“Oh.” Despite his efforts, it still comes out broken and splinters down his throat. 

“Thank you for offering it up to us,” Steve says. “I can imagine how often it could’ve helped.”

“Time has not allowed it to be used any sooner. I have wondered when it would pass and I admit, it is not the circumstances that I thought would present. But it must be big enough to change the course of the whole universe and who am I to stop that?”

Bucky tilts his head, his eyes squinting questioningly. “‘I’m not sure the effect is going to be that great.” 

Steve is already walking towards the exit. 

“A ripple can start small and gather momentum down the stream. The stream of reality is no different.” The Ancient One brings her hands over the amulet round her neck. His eyes are drawn to it now. The familiar glow pulls him in as the light pools around her fingers. It’s just as discomforting as the beam in the sky, only it’s more concentrated now he’s closer. “Even more, now that HYDRA has left their mark on you.”

“They did no such thing.” Anger pits in his stomach. “I got out.”

“I meant no disrespect, it’s just,” she pauses seemingly unsure how to continue, “well, I’ve seen the effect you could have on this reality, something lasting for centuries.”

“Is that bad?”

“The stream turns darker because of what you do, only,” she frowns, “it isn’t you at all.”

He lifts both hands in a shrug. “Then we’re in the clear.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. You should be careful for more than one reason.”

“And what’s the other?”

“Do you fully understand the man you’re dealing with?” Her expression changes. Her eyes show more emotion than she has before. 

He’s rooted to the spot now, and there’s no spell doing it. There is both the need to hear the end and to run from knowing anything else. “Don’t need to, it’s always the same old story.”

“There’s a danger on both sides, sergeant.” She lifts a palm calmly as Bucky opens his mouth. “They’ll do anything to find a miracle to force a victory, anything. Even forcing one to happen. And that’s why it’s dangerous for you to travel together.”

“How so?”

“The people who are looking may not see the benefit if his heart isn’t glowing, but next to you,” she glances across to where Steve stands, apart from them near the main door. Before he realizes it, Bucky’s gaze is pointed to Steve as well. “It’s a difficult thing to stop.”

The last words cut finely despite his distraction. “Then why give me an exit strategy? The candle, I mean.”

She inhales sharply. “Because I know you’ll keep going and I don’t want that choice to damn you, at least not by my hand.”

**~**

He feels watched. It crawls over every inch of his skin in a firm embrace, wakes him up in the dead of night with a scream caught deep in his throat. He wants to tell himself that they are the words of a mad soothsayer, that they hold no truth. Weeks ago, he would have. He’d lock the door and never look back, just like with everything else in his life. But he can’t. 

Truth bites at his cheek and he does not welcome it. 

“This way is a lot faster than any other I know.” 

Steve’s voice enters sits on the edge but the words land beyond his recognition as his brain lingers dangerously elsewhere. 

“Bucky?” Steve moves closer. “There’s a shortcut on this map.”

Bucky blinks and his thoughts are pushed momentarily aside. “Good, let’s do it.” They aren’t really his words.

“Really?” Steve looks taken aback. “I thought there would be more arguing than that.”

“I don’t argue for the sake of it, you know?” Bucky meets his gaze, his head tilted gently. He feels closer to himself again. “You just come up with bona fide awful ideas—” Steve raises a brow. “And then I gotta.”

Steve doesn’t reply to that. He passes Bucky still staring down at the map. There’s an expression on his face which Bucky knows too well, but rarely sees. It’s the look of utter conviction. The thought of asserting yourself in such an environment is a dangerous one. The world around you won’t hesitate to put you back in your place. 

Bucky follows behind, needing some time to himself, his previous thoughts having not fully left his conscience. He knows it’s dangerous to let them linger, to fester and brew, that he is opening himself up to more vulnerability. It isn’t enough for him to stop, though he isn’t sure he’d be able to shut them down at all. 

Oh, the time he has to crack. It won’t be long now until he blisters. He can feel it already, they’re left over from Azzano. Wounds that never fully healed. And now there’s all the time in the world for them to grow. He is beginning to realize, no distraction will ever be big enough.

Old snow crunches beneath Bucky’s boots. It’s hard and loud, and every step brings his attention to that fact. The sound wavers in his periphery, becoming a metronome his mind drifts to. It puts him on edge, even more so than he already is. 

**~**

The surroundings are increasingly closing in. Bucky noticed it a few miles back, but now he can’t ignore it. Less natural light is reaching them. From towering trees to a ridge he can’t see the edge of, there is more darkness shrouding them than light.

“This doesn’t feel right. Lemme see the map?”

“It’s fine.”

“Hand it over, Steve.”

Bucky grabs the map out of his hands and it almost tears. “We are _ way _ off course here.”

He looks at it closer, switching his gaze between the map and his surroundings and back again. There is no mistaking it, the dark ridges on either side of them are on the wrong part of the map. Or rather, they are standing in the wrong part. 

“This was the shortcut you were talking about, wasn’t it?” Bucky forces himself not to snap.

“Well...yeah.” 

“That wasn’t a shortcut, it was a warning!”

“It doesn’t seem all that terrible. I think it’s just a bit of over caution, that’s all.”

Steve is far too calm and it grates into Bucky’s core. 

“You know those bad ideas I talked about? Yeah, this is a class-A example!” Bucky spins, grabbing a fistful of hair. He looms over Steve glaring down at him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“What was I thinking?” Steve scoffs. He pushes Bucky away. “I was thinking that a weapon that has the potential to destroy the universe is in the hands of a nutter and that I should probably get it by any means necessary.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you’re doing this to save the world, that you have any nobility in your actions.” His voice is coarse. “This is just about your ride outta here.” 

“Well, by going through _ this _ passage, you can get rid of me faster. And the quicker I’m gone? The safer it is for _ everyone _.” He brings his arms up to gesticulate, nodding as he glances away. “Then you can do whatever the hell you like. I know you’re so sick of me dragging you away from your life and all.” 

Bucky is stunned into silence. 

“And yeah,” he looks back to Bucky, his jaw surely clenched. “It is a bit more dangerous, but I was never going to let anything happen to you.” 

“_ Me?” _ Bucky drags an inhale. His words come out sharp anyway. “There are actual people who want to cut your heart out, forgive me if I’m worried about that.” A humourless laugh escapes him. 

He peers up at the sky for a moment, the force of Steve’s gaze being too great. The silence stretches between them.

“_ That’s _what this is about?” Steve says finally. 

It’s a split second later when Bucky realizes the corner he’s backed himself in. “We are wasting time.”

Bucky turns to go, dangerous passage be damned, but Steve grabs his arm and stops him in his tracks. He knows he could just shrug Steve’s hold, but he lets it happen.

“No, you don’t get to deflect,” Steve gulps in air and searches Bucky’s eyes, “_ please.” _

Bucky sighs gently and closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, he finds Steve’s eyes immediately. They draw him in easily. Bucky thinks he sees him getting brighter. The space around Steve now seems hazy with a soft light. 

“You think I was worried about me? I mean sure, I have a survival instinct, but also, I had to face the fact that I may end up dying out here, so if it was the only way,” he pauses, “I would walk through there for you, I will.”

Steve lets his hand drop to his side. His outline is drowned in a vivid golden hue. “Buck—”

“And I mean, we might as well, seein’ as we’re already here and all.”

“Bucky, I didn’t mean to…” Steve falters. 

“I know,” Bucky says with a hint of anger. 

Bucky rolls the map away and walks with it in his palm. Steve follows a few steps behind. With no immediate threat, he’s lulled into a strange clarity as he continues walking. He stares straight ahead, ignoring how it feels as if the walls are closing in. Then again, he could be standing in an open field and not feel as if there’s enough space. 

The walk is flat at least, though the passage does wind every way. Sometime in the early evening the path runs out. The stone is so uniform in colour, Bucky almost misses the two paths that diverge. 

“And now it’s a maze.” Bucky nods to himself, still facing the wall in front. Steve catches up as Bucky rolls out the map again. There isn’t anything to indicate the direction they should take and neither looks more inviting than the other. 

“Any suggestions?” Bucky tries. Steve hasn’t moved, but he turns his head carefully to look in both directions. 

“It’s left,” he says while looking to the right. 

“You sure?” 

“Not completely,” Steve admits. He glances left and Bucky follows his gaze. Bucky can’t see anything that distinguishes one from the other, but Steve has already taken several steps. They’re sure, definitive. 

The path runs straight for a while and just like before, Bucky doesn’t pick out anything in front that tells him the way it turns. And for all he knew, they were walking further into the maze and away from their target. Still, he presses on, with no other information to gage the _ right direction. _

Eventually they turn a corner and at the very end of the path, an old man stands waiting. The man has a long scraggly beard and sideburns that reach past his ears. He wears a tall black hat and holds a staff in his ageing hands. He looks like an undertaker. 

As they approach the man leans heavily on his staff with both arms. He speaks only when they stand face to face. “Good evening. Another two through the passage, I see."

“The passage?” Bucky tilts his head slightly. All that lies ahead is a wall, with the only alternative way being the one they’d come from.

“Those who travel through these parts make their way here, to the wall. I’m afraid the wall cannot be crossed,” the man replies.

“Why is that?” Steve steps beside Bucky, he still pointedly averts his eyes.

“There are dangers that lie beyond this portal.”

“Could you let us through anyway?”

“I’m charged with guarding the portal to another world, and you’re asking me to just,” he pauses, openly assessing Bucky, “let you through?”

He considers this. “Yes. Because let’s be honest, it’s a wall. So how exactly would you ‘let us through’?” 

“The portal sits on the edge of the wall, it is supposed to be deceiving to the naked eye.”

“Better turn around, I suppose. Go the long way round.”

“It’s probably best, lad.”

Bucky starts to turn and Steve frowns at him in response. Before he faces the other way, he grabs Steve’s arm, pulling him towards the wall. They stumble as they match each other’s paces. He squeezes his eyes shut as the run straight into the wall, half expecting to feel the rough surface slam into his face. 

It isn’t quite the new world he had imagined. Bucky turns around to find that every sign of where they were has been replaced. At first glance it doesn’t look much different from a village you could find in the Northern England. Not that he’d been. 

The market is busy enough that barely a few heads turned at the sudden apparition. Carts line both sides of the narrow path with colourful patterns on each one. An arrangement of cloths shield the passersby from the beating sun. They turn the incoming light into soft blushes and delicate blues. 

Steve starts walking first, drawn into the leisurely pace of everyone else. Bucky watches contently as Steve’s face brightens while carefully inspecting the figurines in the nearest stall. He lets his eyes scan to the furthest distance, his gaze catching on one bright yellow caravan near the centre. 

“Buck, look at this one.” Steve’s voice is so filled with wonder that he has to turn around. The resentment washes away in one simple wave. 

Steve seems to remember the events from before and his expression falls as he slowly turns to look at the carving again.

“Hey,” Bucky says softly, quieter than everything around them. He reaches with a tentative hand and cups Steve’s hands with his. His fingers are warm, “show me.”

Bucky draws away slightly when Steve moves towards him. He nearly forgets to look at what’s sitting in Steve’s palm when they lock eyes. 

The sculpture looks to be made of marble. It’s incredibly smooth, every detail precise and delicate. “It’s a unicorn.” Bucky smiles. 

“It’s pretty.”

“How much?” Bucky asks the sculptor. 

“A secret.” The woman nods. 

“Sorry?”

“The payment is one secret of your own,” she clarifies. “One that holds meaning.”

“Oh.” His heart tremors through his chest. He nods several times, glancing to the side.

A secret. It isn’t as if there’s a lack of choice. They burn straight to his throat, sailing in on a rapid stream. Each one bursts at the seams. 

“Um,” Bucky begins. Even now his body constricts. “I, uh I don’t know if this qualifies, but,” he feels the strain as he swallows, “I think I’m going to ruin this mission, if you wanna call it that. I can’t shake this feeling that I’m not right for it, that there’s something in me that’ll tear it apart.” 

He isn’t even telling the sculptor, isn’t making eye contact with either her or Steve. 

The figure presses into Bucky’s palm, the cool stone grounds him to the present. He clasps it gently and hands it to Steve. Bucky doesn’t feel the relief he’d been expecting. Instead he feels Steve’s eyes on him and they aren’t accusatory.

They drift naturally away from the stall. “I think that was more than that poor clerk bargained for,” Steve says lightly. “I don’t deserve it.” 

“Think of it as a peace offering,” Bucky smiles again. It doesn’t hold what it’s supposed to. 

He begins weaving through the crowd, careful not to bump into anyone or the spindly racks holding more items than it seems they were built for. If Steve replies, it’s lost over the chatter of other people. He lingers on the yellow caravan he had seen before. A woman stands on the opposite side of the long table sitting apart from the caravan. She wears a simple teal dress. Her long, dark hair falls over her shoulders. On the table lies an assortment of flowers. Each one grows from a single stem. They’re no bigger than Bucky’s finger. 

“A snowdrop?” The woman offers the flower to Bucky, her shawl slipping from her arms. “It’ll bring you luck.”

“I’ve just given away a secret.” He brings his hands up. “I don’t think I can deal with sharing another.”

“Ah, well, this one costs a kiss. But I can tell you’ve promised yourself to someone else.” She smiles warmly.

“You can?” 

He gives a warm smile, quickly glancing sideways to Steve before looking back. 

“As clear as our night skies,” she confirms. “Take it.”

He allows his lips to tug to the side. “Thank you.”

Everything around him twists and disappears the moment he places the flower in the pocket of his uniform. His surroundings are replaced with a dim and plain environment. Steve isn’t in his sights. He twists frantically when he thinks he hears someone speak. The voice resonates from every direction. First it echoes from behind and Bucky swivels round to find that there’s no one else but him. 

“Steve?” His voice echoes endlessly, with nothing to stop the sound. He’s met with his own silence.

The voice becomes clearer, no longer indistinct whispers. When it speaks the sound feels as if it’s coming from his own head. 

_ Don’t lose your way, like all who pass. For you can wander far and cover no ground. Hold tight to your dreams as they may wander too. Let them go too far and they can return instead as your horrors. _

Panic sets in with an unfamiliar tone. He’s always had a knack for keeping calm in situations that would warrant otherwise. To strangers it was unnerving, for enlistment officers it was his best trait. But now, he can’t shift the dread. It sits like a dead weight in his limbs.

Bucky notices a single door. It feels as if he’d known it was there the entire time. There aren’t any walls bordering it and it hangs from the ceiling. He moves closer with cautious steps. As he nears, his surroundings twist again, and the boundaries change orientation around him. Up becomes down, left is now right. The door is thrown into his reach. He stretches out his arm, placing his hand on the doorknob. It’s barely open when Bucky finds himself in a theatre where every seat is filled. The people stare expectantly at the red curtain drawn on the stage. Though they have smiles plastered on their faces, Bucky can’t help but notice the pit in his stomach. 

The lights dim and the floodlights point towards the stage. There’s a moment of pure silence before the curtains begin open. A breath catches in Bucky’s throat when he sees who stands on the stage. The sound becomes faint around him. It isn’t completely indistinguishable, but it’s as if his mind doesn’t want to hear what is said. Music blares just as loud. 

Steve is there, centre stage, wearing a costume. He’s barely recognizable in the red and blue, a white star on his chest. The audience claps and cheers but the sound is distorted. There’s a disorienting quality to everything he is seeing. Nothing is outright wrong or strange, but tension travels through him all the same. 

It’s what the colonel wanted to do—wants, Bucky corrects—with Steve. As the thought shivers into his head he wills himself to think of something more comforting.

He’s back home. He sees his family from the shore, waiting for the ship to dock. Rebecca stands taller than she had when he’d shipped, but then again, she would be. His ma looks the same, more or less. 

He feels a smile and already his face aches with how big it stretches. 

He’s waiting for the ship to dock, but it never comes. The ship hovers in the harbour neither moving closer to the city of farther away. None of the other soldiers seem fazed by it. They all stare ahead toward the city. Their hands are stiff as they wave to the people. 

He’s waiting for the ship to dock, but then he isn’t. He’s on land now and he can see them, he can see his family. The wave of relief matches with his steps. He rushes up to them, bumping shoulders with the other soldiers who have already reunited. They pay no mind to him. 

He doesn’t hesitate, just embraces his Ma like it’s the last chance in the world. 

She doesn’t react. Neither does Rebecca.

He takes a step back to get a better look. Their gazes are still fixed upon the ship. Their eyes are expectant, searching the faces of every uniform. It’s as if they don’t recognize him. Perhaps they don’t. 

They’ll be waiting forever. 

Bucky feels his breaths quicken. It had turned into a horror just like that. He’d let his dreams wander too far without even realizing it. The thought terrifies him, how final it seems. 

_ “Why are you showing me this?” _ His voice breaks terribly. _ “What do you want me to do? _” 

_ You waste your time believing in your own morality. It won’t bring you any comfort. _

There isn’t much time to process the words before a bright flash forces him to shut his eyes. He feels it emerge from all angles, increasing in intensity. It’s as if it’s suffocating him, leaving no space to reach out and catch his breath. 

When he feels it subside, Bucky dares to open his eyes. He isn’t anywhere he recognizes. It takes a second to register that he’s in a bed, an actual bed. He glances to the side just as Steve rushes to his side. 

“Some luck that was.” Bucky huffs a laugh before Steve can get a word in. 

Steve’s expression turns more severe. “Well, it broke the illusion, didn’t it?”

“_ What? _”

“The market,” Steve says with a frown. “It wasn’t real Bucky.”

He turns his head to stare at the ceiling, the reality setting in slowly. “Where are we? What happened with the portal?”

“When I came out the other side of it, I found you on the ground, you weren’t—well, anyway.” Bucky steals a glance. Concern is etched all over Steve’s face. “I managed to hitch a ride and we passed an inn.”

“You’re okay though?” Bucky ventures. 

Steve moves a hand onto Bucky’s left shoulder. “You should probably start worrying about yourself more.”

The touch is so casual it makes Bucky freeze unwillingly. “Hmm. You might be right there,” he manages gently, smiling as a distraction. 

“I’ll get you some food,” Steve moves his hand away and instantly Bucky misses it. He gestures to different room and Bucky catches Steve idly trace his tongue along his lips. He’s glowing more than usual. “There’s a bath through there if you want.”

Bucky watches him leave and the room seems a little cooler with his absence. He pulls the covers off and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. The wood beneath his feet is as warm as he’s been in a long time. 

The bath is already full. Bucky swirls his fingers through the blissfully hot water a moment. It doesn’t take long for him to undress. As he steps into the tub, the warmth spreads up his body in a comforting shiver. He sinks deeper letting the water engulf him. 

An inkling on the back of his neck keeps his eyes from closing. It’s okay, though. It doesn’t bother him that there is always some part he keeps alert. The way his eyes are a split second off from opening when he sleeps at every sound that passes him. The way that the sounds have seemed farther away recently when he’s jerked awake. It’s totally fine, it’s completely _ normal _. 

He hears Steve walk in on the other side of the closed door. His heart quickens and it takes a few beats for Bucky to realize it’s the cause for his change in alertness. 

“I got food for when you feel like it,” Steve calls. “Stay as long as you like in there.” 

“Got it,” Bucky replies cheerfully. It sounds unnatural. 

He rests back on the tub and lets his head hang over the edge. He’s only there for another minute when he has the urge to get out. There’s a sudden pull as he feels unsettled and… impatient. 

Bucky carefully steps out onto the mat and realizes there aren’t any towels. They were placed on the edge of the bed. After a moment of consideration, he calls out sheepishly. “Steve?”

“Yeah, Buck?”

Bucky inhales deeply, steeling himself. “I left my towel on the bed, could you toss it through the door?”

He thinks he hears Steve let out a laugh under his breath. “Coming right up.”

A moment later his hand pokes through a gap in open door and Steve throws the towel through. Bucky catches it and hurriedly dries himself. He peers down at his clothes dumped in a pile and he can’t face putting them back on. Instead, he wraps the towel around his waist and ventures into the bedroom again. Steve has his back turned away, but as he hears Bucky’s movement he spins round. As he does, his hair catches the light pouring in from the window. Steve sweeps his eyes across Bucky’s bare chest, finally landing them on his face. His lips are parted and Steve seems to notice it because he quickly shuts them.

“You must be hungry?” Steve tries. 

“I haven’t really noticed it.” Bucky moves slowly over to where the plate sits. He stares at the food taking in all the colours, how fresh it looks—warm. A wave of something hits him and, much to his embarrassment, he realizes he’s overwhelmed. He swallows it down and inhales the food quicker than he admits. Flavour explodes in his mouth. As he takes the first bites, he feels the churn of his stomach. He feels the emptiness that has been hidden behind the complete numbness. 

“This place is really somethin’,” Bucky says casually. “It’s lucky you found it.”

“Easier with a lucky charm.”

Bucky smiles, comfort spreading across him.

“The snowdrop,” Steve clarifies as he peers at the floor. 

“So give it to me straight,” Bucky shifts the conversation, “are we closer than we were _ before _we went through the portal?”

“Well it ain’t farther away. It spit us out in a more populated area, we’ll be seeing more than just trees for a while.”

“There’s a town?” The disbelief cracks his words.

“Mhm,” Steve nods, “a few miles from here.”

**~**

Bucky feels a light hit his eyelids. He blinks to find the room tinted green. Steve isn’t there. Slowly, ever so slowly, he sits up. He pulls the covers off and peers over the landing beside the stairs. Everything is still and yet, things are different. Bucky listens for any movement but doesn’t detect any until a single blast startles him into action. He hurries down the stairs to find the space unoccupied. 

It’s completely silent. An eeriness commands the room. His heart pounds rhythmically and for a while, it’s the only sound he can discern. He heads for the door ahead of him and finds it’s locked. He slams his body against it and it budges, but not all the way. After taking a few more breaths he backs away slightly and kicks it with all his force. The wood splinters and the door swings open with a bang. 

Still he meets nobody on the other side and there’s no sign of anyone advancing. He finds himself bristling. Bucky treads lightly across the courtyard to the building adjacent from him. That door opens easily. It’s dark inside, only a single circular window near the ceiling welcomes any light and in the dead of night it catches just a sliver of moonlight . Bucky wrinkles his nose as it fills with the smell of hay. As his eyes adjust, they make out the outline of several stables. One of the doors opens and he presses his back into the nearest wall. It’s Steve, he realizes. 

“What are you doing out here,” Bucky whispers. Steve startles, but as he recognizes that it’s Bucky, his stance relaxes. The space suddenly seems brighter. It takes a moment for him to realize it’s coming from Steve and not a source outside. Steve doesn’t appear to notice. 

“Just feeding our ride.”

In the corner of his eye, the green glow creeps under the door Bucky came through. In the split second he detects it, the door bashes open and several hooded figures enter. Bucky takes Steve by the arm and gently drags him backwards. The uneven stone of the back wall digs in between his shoulder blades. 

“Who are they?” Steve whispers into Bucky’s ear. His voice shakes. 

One of the figures moves closer. “We saw you through the portal, as you entered one of our realms. It was only a matter of time before you came upon our trap.” 

“Your realm?” Bucky says, “You mean the market?”

“That was one, but then you, _ you _broke the illusion and dove deeper into the dream dimension. Nevertheless, it’s how we could forge the connection within you. You won’t be able to hide.”

The two figures standing behind strike their forearms together. Sparks fly from their fists and a wall of fire spreads across the ground. It grows as high as the ceiling. The stables catch flame and that’s when they’re trapped. The sorcerer that spoke begins walking through the flames. To Bucky’s horror, he does so unharmed. It won’t be long before he’s through completely. 

“What do you _ want _?” Steve roars. 

“For my heart to never age,” he replies. His voice is gruff and deep. “The Ancient One stands above us all as if she were a saint. No more.”

“Sorry to disappoint, but that won’t be happening,” Bucky replies, coolly. Then quieter to Steve, “We need to use the candle. Where are the matches?”

“We’re not wasting it.” 

“Wasting it? We are literally backed into a corner, I don’t really see any other option!”

“It’s the best corner they could have backed us into.” Steve reaches to the side and unlatches the nearest stable. A brilliant white horse emerges and it immediately rears its front legs. The sorcerers lift their arms in protection and back away.

“Get on,” Steve shouts as the horse dips down again. Bucky grabs Steve’s outstretched arm and slings himself on. That’s when he notices the single horn on the horse’s head. 

“A unicorn?” Bucky gasps as the animal lunges into a gallop.

“It came to me right after the portal, it’s how we got to the Inn.”

“It brought us here? But this was a trap!”

“She couldn’t have known that!” Steve yells over the wind. 

The horse veers suddenly into a thick overgrown field. Instinctively Bucky moves forward and, without realizing, grabs at Steve’s waist. He quickly corrects himself, but another bump in the thicket of the grass forces him to resign. Carefully this time, he slides his hands and clasps them around Steve. He doesn’t seem to mind. Steve is warm and it’s completely intoxicating being forced to be so close. For one shining moment, he’s riding into the sunset like the closing scene in one of those films his sister likes so much. The ones that Bucky pretends he doesn’t. He wants to rest his chin on Steve’s shoulder, cave in, complete the image. He doesn’t, of course. 

He focuses his attention behind them and that’s how Bucky gets a glimpse of the entire inn and stables ablaze. Bucky squints as they ride further away, trying to catch any shadow of the sorcerers. 

The horse slows as they near the outskirts of the town Steve had mentioned. Eventually she comes to a complete stop and kneel,; a clear indication that it’s time to continue on their own. Bucky drops down and corrects his cap when it slides into his face. He waits as Steve strokes the horse’s flank. When Steve pulls away she moves into a gentle trot, her shimmering mane trailing behind. Bucky watches it disappear knowing even then it would not be the last remarkable thing he’d see that week. 

“Guess we should start searching for some new lodging, huh?”

“What? Steve, _ no _, we should keep moving,” Bucky replies, his exasperation clear. “Those guys may catch up with us, you heard what they said.”

Steve waves him away. “I’m not afraid of some wavy hand magic.”

“That’s funny coming from the guy who hid behind me not one hour ago from that same magic.”

“I had a plan!” Steve defends. 

“Sure, tough guy.”

The town is quiet. The stillness follows them down the single street. It’s contagious. Bucky feels it like a bubble moving steadily inwards. His focus shifts to one that is softer. 

“I’m okay to keep going, put some distance between those guys. We’ll stop when it gets light.”

“I’ve lost where we are on the map,” Steve admits. 

Bucky stops in his tracks. “What?” 

“I haven’t known since we were at the inn. I was hoping I’d have figured it out by now, but it’s been too cloudy outside to see any stars.” 

“What are you saying?” Bucky frowns. “That we have to wait for a clear night to continue?”

“Or we figure out this map, whichever comes first.”

Bucky nods slowly a few times turning his gaze to the buildings. “I’ll find us a place to hang around.”

When he turns, Steve already has the map laid out carefully on the side of the road. He’s sheltered by a cover extending from the building. Bucky takes to sitting on the nearby steps, leaning over his shoulder for a better view. 

It takes several hours, but eventually Steve stands up. Bucky drags his head away from the wall he’d been resting on when he hears the rustling of the map. 

“You found the route?”

“You aren’t going to like it.”

“_ Why?” _

**~**

The climb up the mountain is as treacherous as one would expect. The ridge is as wide as their feet. Any snow has been watered down to ice and has created great bumps in the path. 

Still, they climb.

Steve had said it was the closest way to Schmidt’s main base. That a safer path would take two days of doubling back to reach. 

A safe _ and _quick path is a luxury they no longer can afford. 

After a while, they reach a plateau. It’s welcomed until Bucky notices what is there to greet them. He stops in his tracks and Steve quickly follows suit. 

“We can’t have reached it already,” Steve says, his breathing steadying from the climb. 

Bucky gives the scene a quick once over. It’s definitely a HYDRA site. Nobody on his side is this far out. What catches him off guard is how small it is. It has the unmistakable air of secrecy. 

“This isn’t the main base.” Bucky peers to his side where Steve waits expectantly. “But they’re hiding something big here.”

It’s purely curiosity that drives him to move nearer. Perhaps some of Steve’s recklessness had worn off on him. Bucky crouches by the side of the largely guarded entrance. 

Searchlights line the perimeter with watch towers covering all angles. As one of the lights swoops over an area, something huge reflects back. Bucky catches it better the second time it’s illuminated. 

Looming well over the edge of a cliff stands a ship that’s lined by a wire fence. It looks similar to a standard navy ship, from what Bucky can glimpse. 

“There isn’t any water for miles around,” Bucky whispers, his heart thumping in his chest. “What are they doing with a ship?”

“Only one way to find out.”

“Alright.” He clenches his jaw to quell a shivering exhale. “We have to do this _ slowly. _ ” 

It was not going to be easy to stay hidden. 

Steve doesn’t reply, but as Bucky moves his attention back to the searchlights, he catches a nod. His eyes scan rapidly from light to light, analyzing their pattern over the course of a few cycles. Once he’s decidedly memorized it, he flicks his eyes over to the next safe space before they land on Steve.

“You have to be right behind me okay?” He speaks softly. “Step right where I do.”

Steve meets his gaze and for a moment it’s overwhelming. Still, Bucky doesn’t break it. “I’ll be there.” 

Bucky nods. He sets off and as promised, Steve follows behind like a shadow. The snow crunches underfoot making Bucky wince. His heartbeat is about to crack the wall pressed behind him, he’s sure of it. The noise thunders through his ears, cutting deep into his core. 

He finds his next target with ease. It’s a long track, most of it with minimal cover. The timing will have to be impeccable. Bucky counts them in. He’s a beat off and Steve’s leg is caught in the light. It’s brief, but nevertheless, Bucky’s heart skips a beat. He never used to be this sentimental. 

They stand impossibly still, waiting for the signal that they’ve been made. It never comes. 

Once his pulse has steadied, he makes the move towards their next stop. Instinctively, Bucky reaches for Steve’s arm and pulls him, not risking another misstep. 

He tells himself it’s practical. 

There’s a clear sight to the vessel from their standing. Bucky would have called it a boat if it weren’t for the large inflated balloon tethered to the fender. Closer up, he can see several other modifications to the ship, though he can’t say what for. 

“What the hell is that thing?” Bucky says under his breath. A new sound ruptures through the corridor of ice. It’s the unmistakable sound of engines and it throbs through Bucky’s eardrurms. “Could be our ride.”

“Wait, what?” Steve raises his eyebrows with a quirk in his lips. 

“Faster than walking,” Bucky supplies. “We should probably get on _ before _it flies.”

“Just think about it for a second. Are we really going to hand ourselves over?”

“That’s only if we get caught.” Bucky shoots back, “and besides, we’ve got a contingency plan.”

“The candle,” Steve realizes.

Bucky almost loses his footing when one of the lights sweep into his periphery. When his eyes adjust to the dark, he’s squarely facing the ship. It’s even more chilling up close. 

“Let’s hope this thing actually moves.”

“Well, it’s usually a good sign when people are boarding.” Steve points upward to a bride. Bucky makes out the outline of a figure with a briefcase and trilby hat. Zola. 

There’s a distinctive sensation of his insides twisting as Bucky’s chest restricts. He feels the chill of metal on the back of his neck. His breaths shorten dangerously.

“Bucky, what’s the matter?” 

Steve’s so close. He’s too close. Too close. Too close.

Not close enough.

“Uh, nothing.” His exhale is shaky. “Just figuring out how to get on without being seen.”

They wait until it seems that everyone has boarded before they sneak onto the bridge. There’s an unbelievable sense of exposure as the board the ship themselves, but they make it. 

Bucky finds a secluded area to wait out the journey. 

**~**

With no windows, the journey moves slower. There isn’t anything to break up the time and Bucky can’t help the feeling of constant suspense as he wonders if they’ll be caught stowing away. 

“Come on,” Steve drawls. “Let’s go to the surface, just for a bit.”

“We are s_ towaways _,” he emphasizes. “It’ll be crawling with soldiers.”

“Nobody’s going to be out in this altitude, it’ll be freezing.”

“So why would you wanna go?” He gives an exasperated huff. 

“We’ll be _ fine.” _Steve spins with a childish glee. “And besides,” he stops dizzily, “when’s the next time you’ll be up this high with an open roof?” 

“You are an absolute menace. You know that?” 

“Heard you the first time. So whaddya say?”

“I don’t think my say means all too much.”

“Course it does, I don’t wanna go up alone.”

“Five minutes, alright?” Bucky says, resigned. “I’m not risking anymore.”

“We’d better get going then.” Steve grins and Bucky’s heart soars. 

They’re up on the surface in no time and nothing could prepare Bucky for the sight. It’s completely mesmerizing. His jaw turns slack as he takes in the view. They’re flying through a blanket of crystals. The stars shine each with their own signature. Like a great canvas filling in every crevice there is. 

Bucky glances across to find Steve is bending over the front of the ship. He’s looking towards the ground through the thin veil of clouds. Bucky feels his lips tug helplessly and he looks back to the sky to stop it growing more. 

“Dance with me.” Steve says it so plainly that Bucky thinks he’s misheard.

Bucky huffs. “Dance?”

“Yes, humans like dancing. You must know how to, right?”

Only now does he look down, finding Steve in an instant. His eyes are bright, hopeful, but there’s a streak of uncertainty that lines his expression. “What do you take me for? Of course I know.” 

“Then what is it?”

“I just never done it with another fella, is all.”

“Nothing to it,” Steve assures. 

Still, Bucky pauses. Even with no one around he’s hesitant to move any closer. He lets the natural pull draw him in. A barrier of warmth greets him as they stand almost chest to chest. The last and only time he’s seen Steve this vulnerable is when he landed in the crater. 

Steve moves first. He wraps his arm gently around Bucky’s hip, snaking it up until it rests in the small of his back. Bucky mirrors it by placing his palm against Steve’s before linking their fingers together. 

“How we gonna do it with no music?”

They start rocking softly, side to side, finding the rhythm to their steps.

“We don’t need it,” Steve looks up beneath his long lashes. Then he starts humming. It’s quiet and barely distinguishable, but Bucky listens. He watches how Steve closes his eyes somehow feeling safe enough to do so in all the chaos. 

Steve rests his head on Bucky’s chest and the warmth completely swarms him. He lets his eyes wander over Steve’s shoulder and his surroundings become blurred at the edges. 

When he blinks, his eyes focus. He stifles a gasp as he sees the brilliant gleam radiating all around Steve. There’s no denying it, the light definitely stems from him. The stream of gold is more vivid than Bucky’s ever seen it. He catches glints of pure white that’s equal to the glare of the sun. 

With a glance to the side, he sees that the light has spread so it’s encircling the both of them. It floats like stardust in the air.

Steve still has his eyes closed. Bucky lets the moment stretch blissfully. He wishes everything else could just melt away and he could keep hold of the feeling forever. Bucky knows he’ll be grasping at even a sliver of it for the rest of his life. 

They dance toward the bow of the ship, pausing when they reach the very edge. Steve opens his eyes and Bucky just holds his gaze. The ache he feels curdling deep into his core is so very tender. 

“So when you,” Bucky pauses, “glitter sometimes. That’s normal?”

Steve raises his eyebrows, amused. “Let’s see if you can work that one out. What do stars do best?”

“Uh,” he pretends to think, “cause as much trouble as possible?”

Steve shoves him playfully. 

“No? Is it, drag soldiers named Bucky Barnes into the most rash of decisions?” 

Steve shakes his head, wearing a teasing smile on one side of his mouth. 

“You’re impossible, Barnes.”

Bucky matches the smile. The warmth he felt while dancing settles back in his chest. He leans against the bow of the boat, an arm resting on the ledge. 

“It’s been five minutes, right?” Steve says suddenly. Bucky glances across and is grateful when he is met with the same softness in Steve’s eyes. Still, there’s something Bucky doesn’t recognize in his expression. “I wouldn’t want to break my promise.”

Reluctantly, Bucky stands tall again. “That’s a first.” 

**~**

Back in the windowless storage room, all they can do is wait. Bucky sits next to Steve behind several boxes, legs outstretched and his back against a wall. 

The door slides open. Bucky freezes when he hears the mechanism release. He unholsters his gun. 

A soldier in black tac gear walks through with a weapon he’s seen before.

“Just stay behind me,” Bucky whispers. “We’ll be okay.”

The man slowly walks toward their end of the room. Before he makes it all the way, Bucky tugs Steve to crawl round the crates. The soldier stops and Bucky thinks they were heard, but instead of continuing, he turns back to the way he came. 

He pauses beside the door, then he slides it shut again. Bucky hears the dreadful click of the lock. The soldier knows. 

The blast hits Bucky square in the chest. He’s swept off his feet and into the side of the ship. The outside glares at him with a starkness. He grasps onto the ruins as it peels away from the hull. 

The jaws of the canyon widen below. 

“No no no, Bucky, you gotta hold on, okay?” Steve’s voice breaks. “I’ve got you. You’re not going anywhere, _ okay? _”

Bucky watches helplessly as the soldier holds him at gunpoint. Watches how Steve’s whole body itches to move closer to him. Bucky reaches nearer, his fingers desperately outstretched.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” Bucky heaves. “Please, just…” 

Bucky falls.

_ It won’t take much to fall. _

He feels the metal bar detach, feels the release of tension from holding on. There’s a certain grimness to knowing it wasn’t his grip that gave in. That he could have gripped so tight his fingers went numb and it wouldn’t have changed a damn thing. 

The cold creeps into his chest. It tightens the hold around his lungs. The air rushes past him and he barely has time to catch any breath as he plummets further down. 

His eyes burn, the dryness creaks from behind the lids. He closes them and helplessly feels tears down his temples. 

The icy shards of the mountains cut into his side and it jars him into another state of consciousness, one that feels numb. Pain spikes a second later and it wraps around him into an inescapable embrace. 

He thinks he’s prepared for the impact right up until it happens. The ground stabs into his back and it knocks any remaining air out in one great exhale. There’s relief somehow mixed into it all, from the fall being over, but it isn’t a rival against the dread that reminds him of where he lies. 

Distantly he hears a thud. It’s muffled from the snow and it sounds lighter. Bucky lets his head wilt and is startled out of the daze when red fills his vision. He tries to blink it away when it sends his head reeling. He lets his eyes close fully this time. The red still appears as spots beneath his eyelids, but the image drearily fades. It turns instead to the soft amber light bouncing off the sun-touched snow. 

For a moment, everything is still. 

A hand touches his shoulder and jostles him awake. He fights the urge to squint, in the end there’s no need. Steve blocks the brunt of the blinding light. He’s so close, his face only inches away from Bucky’s. 

He lets out a frost bitten breath. His lips quiver, sending a long aching shiver down his spine. 

Steve pulls away when he sees that Bucky has come round, but his hand still lingers on his shoulder.

“Your arm,” he falters, his eyes sweeping over Bucky carefully. “I don’t know what to do, I don’t—_ Bucky, can you hear me? _”

Bucky glances sideways again, sensing a faint pulse. He realizes that Steve isn’t holding his shoulder, but a spot nearer his elbow. It’s with a jolt that he comprehends why there’s so much blood, why his arm felt so heavy to lift it ached. It just isn’t there. 

“You jumped,” Bucky manages. 

Steve twists his lips into a careful smile. His shoulders slump in relief. “Yeah, figured it wouldn’t be so different from my fall.”

“That was pretty stupid.”

Steve pulls off his jacket and lets it fall. He rips a part of his shirt off and quickly wraps it around what remains. Bucky suppresses the urge to flinch when the makeshift bandage tightens. The pain isn’t localized and the flinch has more to do with the image he’s created in his head than the actual wound.

“Come on, we gotta get out of this ravine.”

“What about Schmidt?”

“He’ll still be around.” His tone doesn’t show any concern. 

Bucky lets himself be pulled up. He doesn’t think too much on how Steve can do such a thing, he’s managed to surprise Bucky from the beginning. His knees almost buckle and he finds his knee is injured. He can still put weight on it so it isn’t broken, but the cut is deep. They won’t be walking fast any time soon. 

He manages to lift his head, but the motion sends his head spinning and the two steps he takes following are more diagonal than forward.

It feels like there is a floodlight inches from his face. Steve guides his steps from there on out. They’re slow. Their feet sink in deeply with each step and his muscles scream at him to stop. His head, unaware of any problem pushes him onward, steadily. It’s messy. The sudden change in weight tricks his balance, causing his steps to curve. 

When he trips, the ground gives in more. Bucky feels himself sink. It doesn’t give him the relief his legs promised. 

“Steve,” he says weakly, _ pitifully, _ a side of himself clarifies. “You should go on, just come back, okay?”

Steve kneels down beside him. 

“You can go and find help, yeah?” Bucky smiles, letting his head rest in the cold.

“I’m not leaving.” Steve places his hand in Bucky’s hair. It’s only there for a second, as if he hadn’t meant to do it. That was probably true. “I leave and you die.” 

“Steve, I’m nobody alright? I haven’t done a goddamn thing right.” 

“That isn’t true.”

“How would you know?” Bucky replies, too viciously. 

“Because, I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”

Steve stands back up and for a moment Bucky really thinks he’s going to do it. Just walk away without a second glance back. Maybe it’s because it’s close to what Bucky would have done not too long ago. 

But Steve is Steve and instead of walking away, doing the easy thing, he wraps his arms around Bucky’s torso and pulls. Before Bucky can react anymore, he’s slung over Steve’s shoulder. He hears Steve struggling, through his breaths. His face is pulled into a slight grimace, but Steve doesn’t say anything, just walks.

Despite the wind that has managed to seep through Bucky’s layers and now sits in his bones, Steve feels warm. 

Bucky sighs and lets himself slump against Steve’s back. His eyes close and before long, he’s dreaming.

Bucky splutters awake. He’s on the ground and in a cave, he realizes.

“There’s a storm, it got bad so we’re going to have to wait it out.”

Steve seems tired. He always does during the day. For the most part, he hides it well, but Bucky recognizes it in the way he slumps against the cave wall. Bucky manages to nod before tucking around himself tightly.

The cave is surprisingly dry for how deep into the mountains it is. But there isn’t much insulation from the cold air battering through the entrance, meaning it’s only slightly better than being outside. 

“What were you dreaming about?” Steve asks into the quiet.

“Home,” he says simply. “It’s always home.”

“You didn’t wake up happy.” His face scrunches but somehow, it’s still delicate. 

“I didn’t recognize it.”

“You won’t in a dream.”

Bucky looks to the entrance of the cave. He isn’t sure what else to add, if anything. Though, it didn’t feel like a dream. Even now that he’s awake, it doesn’t feel right. They’ve all felt too real. Sitting too close his memories as if they are one themselves.

“Bucky?”

It’s coming true, he realizes. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he waves Steve away, “I’m fine.“

When night comes, the temperature drops terribly fast. Frost has formed around the part of his jacket he’s pulled around his mouth. The fabric is stiff, and is misshapen from hours of residue.

“Why are you doing this? Helping me I mean?” Steve asks after the last of the sun’s rays fade away. “Doesn’t it tempt you, immortality?”

Bucky opens his eyes and finds Steve’s face in the dark. “I think one life is enough for me. Besides, everlasting life? It sounds pretty lonely.” 

Bucky steels himself for what he says next. “I got a message, when I was in Azzano.”

“A message?”

“It was like a whisper, told me that I needed to help you. That’s the actual truth, why I'm here and all.”

“You could have easily ignored it.” Steve shifts closer. “That message came from the stars. They wouldn’t have chosen you if they didn’t think your heart was pure.”

Silently, Steve lies down behind him. Bucky keeps his eyes open as he hears the quiet rustling as Steve settles into the unforgiving ground. He’s about to close them again when he feels Steve press his back against his own. Bucky’s breath catches and he forces himself to exhale. It comes out like a long shudder. 

“We’ll conserve heat better this way,” Steve whispers, smoothly. Bucky barely catches it over the howl of the wind.

Bucky ignores how he instantly feels warmer. It’s a small enough change to dismiss, but also feels too sudden to be real. He really shouldn’t trust his own judgment right now. He can barely see straight as the waves of nausea hit, even as he’s lying down. 

He can feel himself slip away. It’s so easy to let it happen. With the ache that seems to have raided every inch of his body. It’s a cruel irony that it skips over his left side. Instead it feels that his whole arm is splintering from the bottom up and there isn’t a single thing he can do about it. Somehow it makes easier to disregard, though Bucky isn’t sure that mentality will last very long. 

He can’t deny that lying back to back with Steve comes with a comfort that he wouldn’t find anywhere else. 

Somewhere along the way, he shivers himself to sleep. 

The first thing he notices is Steve’s strong grip on both his shoulders, how the touch is grounding. He notices the panic written clearly across Steve’s face and how it escapes in his voice.

“Bucky!” The word cracks a little. “Oh my god, _ Buck.” _

“I’m here, I’m okay. What’s going on?” 

“You stopped breathing, I thought—“ 

There is a clear resistance to complete the sentence. Bucky doesn’t need to hear the rest. 

Steve is so close. It isn’t like when they were sleeping when Bucky could melt into his presence. They’re face to face now and Bucky very nearly can’t take it. 

“I’m still kickin.’” Bucky gives a lazy smile. 

“You’re paler.” Steve pushes Bucky’s hair away from where it’s plastered to his forehead and leaves the back of his hand there. Bucky just watches. Steve’s brow furrows ever so slightly, but mostly it’s his eyes that catch Bucky’s attention. The determination that fills them is more of a constant presence than something that passes through. 

“We need to get you back to base, you don’t have time to wait any longer.”

Bucky lets out a laugh that catches in his throat. “Yeah, you’re probably right about that, but I’m not going back, not until we get that stone.”

“You can hardly walk!”

Bucky starts moving to stand anyway. He collapses most of his weight on the cave wall and pushes himself up. Steve is right there, though he hesitates to touch any part of Bucky. His legs don’t buckle. In fact, all that’s left of the wound is a dull ache and a hole that is mostly closed up. “Huh, well, how about that?” 

He feels more of it once he tries to move, but it isn’t unbearable enough to stop. They need to get out of this cave and Bucky isn’t going to be the one to hold them up. It bothers him more than he’ll ever admit how quickly he’s healed. 

“I think that’s pretty amazing.” Steve is beaming at him. It breaks Bucky’s heart a little. 

A quick glance to his left tells him that the bleeding in his arm has also slowed. At the sight of the makeshift bandage wrapped around what is left of his arm, Bucky has to force his breaths to come out evenly despite feeling like he wants to punch the wall beside him. He manages to, but it creates a tension in his stomach that twists itself into a knot. 

“At least I got _ something _ going for me.” He flashes a smile, pushing everything else further down.

Worry washes over Steve’s expression, but he doesn’t say anymore. Steve stands beside Bucky, reaching to hook Bucky’s arm around his own shoulders. Even with the support, Bucky’s surroundings sway. They take careful steps together down the ridge onto more level ground. Pain shoots through his leg every time he shifts the weight. 

The storm has cleared slightly meaning they are able to differentiate the ground from the sky, but only just. 

The shivering becomes more of a constant state than an afterthought by the second hour. By the eleventh hour, his muscles ache from the ceaseless movement. He barely gets any warmer. The wind bites at his skin, gnawing through the layers. The first to go is his lips. Bucky notices it first when it hurts to open them. It’s not long after that they numb all together. He feels the shards cut endlessly at his cheeks as he tries to pull his jacket further over his face. His feet drag in the heavy snow, but he keeps his head down and keeps his legs moving. 

They come to a large clearing, bordered by a thin line of trees. There aren’t any buildings in sight. It makes him pause, and Steve stops a moment later. 

“Do you think there’s something past those trees?” Steve asks, clearly ignoring the bleak view. If it were any other situation, Bucky might actually find it endearing, but after the many hours they’ve been stranded, it’s hard to see the beauty. 

In the stillness, the rustling of the trees seem deafening. A single spine-chilling shiver races through him. They’re here. The helplessness of the situation lingers on the back of his neck.

“Steve, they’re after you. They aren’t going to pay any mind to me." As he says it, the wave of dread he was so familiar with washes over him.

“I’m not leaving you here!” Steve cries incredulously. “We’ll use the candle.”

Bucky worries that the sound will carry across from the wind. The small figures of HYDRA break the treeline. 

The candle. He’d forgotten. “You should use it.”

“What? Buck—”

“Yeah,” Bucky says decisively. “You should use it to get to the HYDRA base. I’m bleeding out anyway. There’s no way of knowing that I’d make it even if I’d get back to camp.”

Steve looks horrified. His jaw stiffens as he grinds it coarsely. 

“You could transport yourself right to the tesseract and get the hell outta here.”

“Bucky goddamnit,” Steve snaps finally. “I’m not leaving you here! Do I have to say it another time?”

Bucky recovers quickly. “It’d be a bloody waste to use it on me to go back. _ Especially _ for me.” 

“You aren’t a waste, don’t say that. You aren’t to me.”

Steve softens and Bucky reaches out carefully. He’s painfully aware of the advancing soldiers behind him, but the focus blurs until it’s just Steve and him. 

Steve takes out the candle from the box, his fingers delicate. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Trust me,” Steve whispers. “Think of the tesseract.”

When they materialize, Bucky sees the blue glare before anything else. The second is Steve as he reaches for the tesseract. He holds it defiantly in his hands. Finally he sees that they aren’t alone. The HYDRA soldiers aim their guns toward them.

“Don’t you dare,” Steve growls. “You take another step and I’ll smash this thing into pieces.” He heaves a breath and Bucky sways, his vision failing him. “You’re going to fix him. You’re going to fix him right _ now.” _

There’s a pause. The guns waver in the air. Bucky hears german being spoken then he feels a strong grip take his shoulders. The nails of whoever it is dig into his side. 

He isn’t sure how much time he loses. 

There are faces he doesn’t recognize that fade in and out of view. He’s cold, so cold. The metal he lies on seeps into his mouth with a coarse tang. 

He’s dreaming, he must be, because one of the faces is Zola. He screams himself awake. 

His left arm is back, but it’s glinting. The silver pierces harshly into his unadjusted eyes. Bucky tries to lift it, but a spike of pain shoots from his shoulder all up the side of his neck. 

“You should not try to move for at least several more hours, soldier,” Zola’s mousy voice says. It sounds far too loud. 

“The hell with that,” Bucky replies, grinding his teeth. He swings his legs over the edge of the table and leaps down before Zola can utter another syllable. Bucky inches toward him, easily towering over the scientist. There isn’t the same bolt of dread that comes with facing him. “Now, where is Steve?”

“Who? You mean the star?” Zola stutters. “In a secure facility. I was not told the location.”

Bucky presses his forearm into Zola’s throat. “Bullshit. You’re their lead scientist.” 

Zola squirms beneath Bucky’s hold. “Room twelve in the south section.”

“You’ll pay for that,” Bucky says severely. Then he jabs his elbow into Zola’s neck and takes off out of the lab. 

Bucky finds a sign that tells him he’s in the east section of the base. He runs down the long corridor after he orients himself. His left arm is still heavy and pulls his shoulder socket. 

The door at the end is stiff, but it opens after Bucky gives it a couple of firm pulls. Thankfully it’s unoccupied on the other side. 

He doesn’t creep, doesn’t add any stealth in his steps. He walks with unusual confidence into the storm. It is as he nears the last corner before the south section that he comes face to face with a group of soldiers. At the helm waits Schmidt, a sureness in his stance.

Bucky doesn’t wait until they’re on him to attack. His punches are wild and messy. They all land with a dangerous unpredictability. He sees Schmidt draw back, but there isn’t any alarm in his movement. 

He feels something guttural crawl up his throat. It moves further up with each of his blows. He swings round. The next blow lands in a soldier’s ribs. He hears them crunch. Finally the feeling releases into a single growl. He crushes the next soldier into the wall. The wall splinters as he falls to the ground. All that is left is an imprint of the soldier. 

Only when every HYDRA soldier lies at Bucky’s feet does dread cross Schmidt’s expression. It passes just as a flicker. 

“Sergeant Barnes,” he says with a faint sneer. “I see you are testing out the new upgrade.”

Bucky stays rooted to the spot. His breathing is heavy and it charges his anger. 

“No trouble, we have safeguards in place.”

A surge of pain ruptures up Bucky’s left side. It spreads across his back and up his neck. A scream threatens to escape him. He keeps most of it held back, wrapped up and locked away. 

“This is just for the early days,” Schmidt continues. “I hope you can understand.“

A headache breaks from his forehead. He’s felt this pain before. The memories come surging back. All at once in a flash of searing heat. He sees the chair in Azzano. Remembers the same electricity travelling through his veins. Merging together as a constant reminder. Something he’s carried with him ever since. 

He feels the clamps tighten around his limbs. The familiar sensation of the chair. It’s real, he knows it. Bucky tries to open his eyes, but his body rejects the attempt. 

For a while, he’s aware of everything except what there is to see. When he finally forces his eyes open, he’s in a different room. Schmidt is there, alone. He flips a fob watch closed as he sees Bucky wake.

“Good morning, soldat.”

Bucky glares, his face like stone.

“The silent type?” Schmidt continues. “Obedient too, I assume. But now you are awake, we can get started. 

“For instance, did you ever learn the full extent of a fallen star’s powers?”

Schmidt pauses, drilling his gaze into him. “No? A shame, it’s quite a compelling myth. However, it’s left me facing a choice, as it does with you: do I become the superior man, complete what Erskine failed in doing, or do I ensure the reign of HYDRA? It’s selfish, I know, to even see it as a choice, to choose one over the other, which is why,” Schmidt pauses turning to where Bucky sits, “I’m leaving the choice with you.” 

“What?”

“How on Earth do I compare to a star? What the hell would you want me for?”

“Unfinished work, soldier. You see, we planted the seeds of HYDRA when you last stayed with us. You would be the new fist of HYDRA.”

“Yeah,” Bucky huffs, “keep dreaming.”

“You don’t believe me? How do you think you survived that fall? Luck?”

A shiver crawls through Bucky’s spine.

“You never really escaped us, and _ now _we have you back, unless,” he stalls, “you’re planning on leaving the star with us?”

“What have you done with me?” Bucky growls. A burning rage scratches at his throat. The metal clamps groan as he strains. 

Schmidt glances at them nervously. 

“It seems we have succeeded in more than we knew.”

The clamps crumple under his strength. He pulls them away from the rest of the chair like paper. Bucky uses the momentum to barrel a punch straight into Schmidt’s face. He knocks the shock device well out of his hand and goes right back to punching. 

The first to go is his cheekbones. His eyes sink further into their sockets. The structure of his face caves in. His skin turns swollen and pulpy. 

“You won’t ever find him,” Schmidt gasps between hits.

“Zola has already told me.”

“Zola doesn’t know. He never did.”

Bucky pauses.

“Zola is a good scientist, but he scares easily.”

“Then. Tell. Me. Now.”

He winces. “You won’t get through without me.”

Bucky stands and stretches his hands out. In the next breath he grabs Schmidt by the collar and drags him up. “Then you’re gonna show me.”

Schmidt leads them through the base away from the south section. He waves away his guards as they approach. It puts Bucky on edge. Eventually they come to a door and Schmidt pauses.

“He’s through there.”

Schmidt then bends the handle so it’s misshapen and unlocks the door. The second it’s open, he shoves Bucky through with a bizarre strength. 

“Bucky?”

Bucky swivels around to find Steve hunched in a corner. The tesseract is clasped in his chest. He’s almost completely out of view.

“Steve, are you okay?” Bucky rushes over. “Have they done something to you?”

He smiles with half a laugh. The familiar glow trails into Bucky’s eyes. “They didn’t get to me. I used the tesseract to hide deeper in the base. Nobody’s found me.”

“But that doesn’t make sense—” Bucky stops. His thoughts scramble helplessly in his mind.

“Bucky, what happened to your arm?” Steve reaches out to touch it. “Where’s your shirt?”

“Steve, why haven’t you gone home yet?” His voice rises. "What are you doing here?” 

“I have the candle,” he replies as it if it were obvious. He stands, moving more into the centre of the room. The light around Steve grows to the shade of embers. “I wasn’t just going to leave you stranded here.”

Steve hands over it and Bucky snatches it too quickly, too harshly. “You have to go now, Schmidt, he knows—”

The door behind them opens and Bucky’s heart sinks. 

“Steve go, just go. I’ll be fine!”

“You don’t have the matches!” Steve screams back. 

A blast hits Bucky squarely in his back and he slides across the room. 

“Bucky!” Steve calls. Bucky can only heave out short breaths.

Schmidt smiles sourly over him. The bruises and marks have darkened. “Those hits left a mark, but only to my face.” Schmidt reaches for his neck and peels his skin back to reveal a sunken red face. It stretches across his whole head.

“Don’t worry.” Bucky’s lips curl up. “I can make more.”

“You will. I count on it. But save them for the enemies of HYDRA.”

Schmidt slips out a blade from his jacket and balances it between his fingers. He walks closer to Steve. 

“The way to the power of a star is through its heart. And the burning golden heart of a star at peace is a most brilliant prize. It will last lifetimes, some would even say _ infinite _lifetimes.”

Bucky’s stomach twists into a knot. He’d put Steve in even more danger than he already was. Just by standing by his side. The Ancient One had warned him though at the time he hadn’t understood it.

Bucky drags himself across the floor, his legs failing him. His body restricts the more he moves, but he keeps going anyway. 

“And next to you, soldier, this star’s heart is far from just a glow,” Schmidt continues, unbothered by Bucky’s advances. The words sit like a constant shiver up the back of his neck. Steve moves further away. He’s almost completely backed into the corner. 

The knife presses into the fabric of Steve's shirt and his breath hitches.

"I'll stay, _okay_?" Then more resigned. "I'll stay."

Steve splutters. "Bucky _no. _Don't, _please don't_." 

"You can have me," Bucky continues, keeping his eyes fixed to the floor. 

Schmidt pauses. A spot of blood gathers on the blade. "I can have _both _of you. The world won't stand a chance with that sort of power in HYDRA's hands."

“What was all this about a choice, huh?” Bucky heaves, willing any feeling into his legs. 

Schmidt pauses. “Don’t tell me you actually believed that.”

“Not one bit. But why the hell bother with offering it up?”

“I needed to see how true your bond was.” His tone shows cynicism. “How pure. It's the only way to make the heart of a star last forever.” 

Schmidt turns back to Steve. The truly pained look Steve gives alone causes the deepest of Bucky's fury to escape.

Bucky’s feet start tingling and the sensation moves up both legs. He does anything to quicken its pace. Bucky presses his left hand into the wall beside him trying to use it to push himself up. His fist punctures it as he lays most of his weight into it, but it gets him on his feet. 

“Back off!” Bucky stumbles forward. “He ain’t yours, he never will be.”

He lands a single blow to the back of Schmidt’s head, channeling everything through his fist. It tosses Schmidt across the room.

Bucky grabs the blade from the floor, still dipped in blood and strides over to where Schmidt lies before he can get up. He clasps the handle tighter. In one move he rams the knife into Schmidt and twists it in deep.

He doesn’t linger on the action. Still, Schmidt staggers upright at an impressive speed. He keeps the knife in.

“It’s time to go,” Bucky whispers right into Steve’s ear. He takes out the candle as Steve hands over the last of the matches. 

Steve pulls him in tightly. “Close your eyes, I’ll buy you some time.”

“Steve,” he warns. “What are you doing?”

“What stars do best.” It’s a whisper spoken so softly. The words are as sure as his voice is stable. “Shine.”

Bucky strikes the match and it lights the first time. The flame spreads to the wick. 

His eyes shut instinctively as the room around them fills with light. The light burns through his eyelids. Bucky presses them shut even tighter. The golden blaze turns white as pure starlight pours into the room. It’s almost too bright even with his eyes firmly shut.

He feels it against his skin. Imagines it as it fills the space until nothing else can be perceived. 

Without really knowing, without any conscious effort, his mind drifts to home. In his next inhale, he smells the Brooklyn streets. He wakes with a start as he feels the wet concrete on his back. The last of the babylon candle lies melted in his palm.

He knows he’s home without even looking. It’s an alley not far from his parents’ home, he realizes. In the next moment it hits him that Steve isn’t beside him. 

Tears roll down his face, some gathering on his lip. Others trail right down to his chin, dripping to the ground. 

Bucky staggers the few blocks to the house, not caring how it looks. He collapses against the door jam before anyone can answer. His eyelids begin to flutter. He glimpses someone opening the door as his vision completely blurs. 

“Bucky?” The voice is soft. Even as he stands, completely vulnerable, comfort spreads across his limbs. 

He blinks and he clears his vision enough to see whose voice it is. “Ma?”

Her eyes sweep across him. They linger on his left arm, but she quickly flicks them up to his face. “What are you doing out like that, huh? You’re gonna catch your death. Where’s your stuff?” 

He feels her arms around him and it pushes all the breath out of him at once. 

“What happened out there? We didn’t even know you were coming home.”

“Neither did I.” He smiles ruefully. 

**~**

Weeks pass and Bucky spends them in a haze. His physical wounds heal fast and by doing so, it doesn’t give him time to adjust. Once he’s on his feet he knows people will expect him to get back into the world. He’s not sure he can do that with what other world he knows. So he delays it. And he pushes everyone out. 

The letter of apology and official honourable discharge from Colonel Phillips comes as a surprise. He hides the apology, but the discharge causes a celebration in the whole family. 

He gets a job at a shop. It’s small so there aren’t many customers, but when they do have some, Bucky is expected to act cheerful, like his old self. As if the last two years had never happened. He keeps a glove on his left hand almost constantly, he learned early on that it was better than the prying glances. It’s exhausting pretending to be the same as before, and in the midst of it all, he misses Steve. He can’t tell anyone, of course, they wouldn’t understand. Or they would understand _ too much_. 

So he settles into going through the motions. Smiling in the right places to keep up the facade. It makes his Ma feel better at least, and that might just be enough. 

The bell dings one evening, just as Bucky’s locking up shop. 

“You don’t look too good, Buck,” says a silk-lined voice. “You been staying up too late?”

“I think I’m getting to be nocturnal,” he replies before he’s fully turned round. “I can’t seem to get two winks in at night.”

Steve waves him away. “It ain’t so bad.”

“Where’ve you been? I thought you would have gone skyward.” 

“I had a few things to sort out with Colonel Phillips. Eventually we came to an agreement. Then I figured I’d stay a bit,” Steve glances down. “If you don’t mind.”

“Shoulda guessed you had something to do with that letter. You okay, though?”

"Yeah, I'm fine, especially now." A silence falls around them and it gets Steve to look up again. “You all right with me staying on the ground?”

A smile spreads across Bucky’s face before he can stop it. “Do you really need a reply?”

“I guess not. Where you heading next?”

“You know? I was planning on doing some stargazing.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @[thesupersoldiers](https://thesupersoldiers.tumblr.com)!


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